From Here to There

Knee pain, saddle posts and DIY

2010-08-21T21:40:00.003Z

I hate incomplete DIY jobs. Of course, I am referring to my own incomplete DIY jobs. Jobs, that I have had to set aside due to lack of tools or knowhow. In my younger days, I never did much DIY as India is abundant with resources ready to do jobs.

In the UK its different. Here, knowing DIY can turn out to be a source of cost savings or huge satisfaction. There is nothing like the pleasure of a well done DIY job. The results are instantaneous and you can see the difference that you have done.

I have had my fair share of successes within DIY and it has build up my confidence to keep trying to tackle bigger jobs. Things like fixing shaky stools, repairing broken window latches, Fence posts have all helped me in my confidence. Recently I even attached the fixed hub to my single speed and converted it into a fixed wheel bike. Though I later on realised that I had not greased the parts.

I also had some success in repairing other bits and bobs and thus my interest in DIY has continued to grow. I now have two projects which are turning out to be slightly beyond my league. One is of fixing a down pipe to my guttering and then transferring the water to a water butt. The other is about fixing my driveway and levelling it.

Both the jobs need some investment in tools and some basic know how. I hope I shall succeed in both. I need to do some more research on 'you tube' and find more information on google. I am sure I shall be able to fix both the jobs. Onward to even bigger things on the DIY scale. Things like fixing exhausts in the kitchen and bathroom. yes, those are the next jobs. Its quite varied and fun.

Tomorrow I need to fix the saddle post on my fixie. It keeps slipping. I have already tried inner tube to help get some friction but the slipping continues. Maybe I need to try the shim from a coke can. Thats another excuse to drink a coke. I notice that my left knee has begun to hurt for the past couple of days, wonder if its due to the slipping saddle.

I also need to use the chain tensioner to tighten the chain.

Will I get time from all these to go and buy new Rock climbing shoes? I hope I do.

Thats all for now.. more news from my DIY escapades later.. cheerio

Gulab jamuns - The best

2010-08-19T22:05:00.002Z

The past few days have been fun. We had satyanarayana puja at our home and had brought some gulab jamuns from Bradford. So for the past 4 days in a row, I have been having one gulab jamun daily.

The process has been simple. Come home from office and then have a gulab jamun. It tastes utterly delicious. Utterly delicious. The sweet syrupy taste in the golden brown color. I eat it and it just melts in my mouth.

I havent been exercising much lately so eating each Gulab jamun with a guilt edge. Wondering if I have earned it or not but continuing to eat it with relish.

Today was the last one. I ate half of it and left the other half for tomorrow. Feeling a deep deep sorrow that all of them are over. Wish I had brought more.

Single speed and fixed gear

2010-08-18T20:52:00.002Z

My interest in Fixed gear bikes was sparked by reading about it on the internet. Then getting on to youtube to watch videos of foxed gear bikes in action. It looked real smooth and the acceleration that fixed gear bikes got was awesome. My interest was stoked further. I just had to get a fixed gear for myself.

Now the next step was to buy or build a bike. Building seemed to be a far way off for me now as I am still getting mechanically adept and it felt like a lot of work. So I decided to buy one. Then started the confusion. Which one? Bianchi Pista, Revolution track, Genesis, Fixie Inc or charge plug. There were many bikes to look at and try out.

So started the regular trips to Ediburgh bicyles to try out the bikes. The funny part was that in most of the shops the bikes are set up on a single speed and I never could get to try a fixed gear bike. However I slogged on with the trials. One after the other. I like Specialised Langster. I could not try the Bianchi Pista as Edinburgh did not stock them bikes. I also liked Revolution Track but finally settled for charge plug. It was fun to ride charge plug. Its got a great feel to it. Coming from a heavy mountain bike background, I found the plug to be extremly light and nimble. It seemed to want to fly every time I rode it.

Today after 2 months of owning it, I converted it to fixed gear. Ahha the joy of riding a fixed gear. I finally understand the feeling. I finally get - how enjoyable it is to ride a fixed gear bike. Its awesome.

Swimming craze

2009-12-13T15:32:00.003Z

Total immersion is giving me a new lease of life.

There was a time when I struggled with swimming until I found Total immersion. Read the book to understand more. The fantastic thing about learning to swim the total immersion was is the logic and simplicity. I find that we humans have a way of complicating things however reading about Total immersion brought back the simplicity.

Life is simple, we love to complicate it. The reason we love to complicate stuff is because of our ego and the stories that we tell ourself. Someone doesnt say hello and we read a lot into that. Someone doesnt return our call and our internal voice tells us something is drastically wrong.

Actually Life is really simple. If we live mindfully. Thats the reason I love Total immersion was of swimming, as it gets you swimming mindfully and calmly. Without thrashing about in the water, just roll you way and glide through water. As its wonderful.

I am keen to try out swimming in open water next summer. That would be wonderful as I dread open water. Its a childhood phobis, which I have never let go of yet. I am frightened of open water. Hopefully I should be able to overcome the fear sometime soon.

Maybe one day even giving me the courage and strength to swim the Channel. Ah that would be the day :-)

Rocket Singh: Salesman of the Year - why watch it?

2009-12-12T21:10:00.003Z

I just watched the movie - "Rocket Singh: Salesman of the Year" - its brilliant

I enjoyed it and recommend you to watch it too.

why did I like it?
I liked it because of its simplicity. Great script. Great acting and superb direction. I love movies which affirm my faith in the values of honesty, integrity and ethics. It makes me believe that goodness can work.

Direction
Shimit Amin - hats off to you man. Brilliant direction. After Chak De India, I expected nothing less and you have delivered again. There is one bit of the movie which did not work. Rocket sales corporation promises 24 hour support however there is no one to take their call the day 'Puri' calls their number. That one part did not fit into the whole movie. Maybe something to improve for next time.

Rocket singh - aka Ranbir Kapoor. Excellent acting. Feels and looks the part. Very original portrayal of a sardar. Well done.

Overall - Excellent movie. Must watch.

Another day gone ....

2009-12-07T17:32:00.002Z

Another day gone.. Over.. kaput. Finish.

Have I progressed? Or regressed?

Dunno. Waking up late and then running through the day. Meditation was left by the way side as I got up late. Interestingly I am not fussed. I am not pissed. I am ok. I am relaxed. I am ok. Things dont bother me a lot. There are things that I do feel that I can improve. Like being consistent. At the moment its like being consistently inconsistent.

Anyway, things are ok and thinigs are fine. I would like to be more aware of anicca during meditation and then being able to translate it into life as well. As finally everything is impermanent. Everything shall change. shall change.

I am not developed in metta bhavan as yet. That is something, which shall come once my awarness becomes strong and mindfulness and wisdom improve. Then metta bhavana shall develop as well.

Until then - continue to work. work for ones benefit and the benefit of mankind.

Anicca

Metta to all :-)

Anicca vata sankhara

2009-12-05T18:59:00.002Z

Impermanent are all formations...

The final words of Buddha. I am deeply impressed by the wisdom of Buddha. Initially during my early years, I was quite non-religious. Then during my college days, I went deep into religon. I developed a strong belief in God and the view that there is a higher power which will save us and answer our prayers.

Lately for the past couple of years, I have been meditating and have really found the wisdom in Buddha's words. I am not concerned now with the presence or absence of God, instead I am more concerned with the 'NOW'. With being in the now and being present with reality.

I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had not found 'Vipassana meditation'. I would have continued floundering with wrong views and being buffeted with the vissicutedes of life.

Now that I have found vipassana, I feel blessed. I am full of gratitude for SN Goenkaji and U Ba Khin ji for maintaining this tradition of meditiation.

Its a simple technique and thats the speciality of it. It encourages you to become the observer and develop your inherint wisdom. Keep on working for our own salvation. The truth within oneself becomes clearer and clearer.

Metta to all

Keep on working. May all beings be free from suffering. May all being be liberated.

Why watch 'Wake up Sid'?

2009-10-03T20:11:00.002Z

First there was Siddhartha Gautama who woke up and now we have Siddhartha(Sid)'s story of 'wake up Sid' - directed by Karan Johar.

My take on the movie -'Go watch it'.

why should you?
1. Simple story
2. Great acting and direction
3. Superb music

Its a simple story. rich kid. No direction in life. Fails his exams.

A chance encounter and he meets Aish (Konkana). The thing that I liked about the movie is the good characterisation. Each character is given strength and made believable, so the story works. The ends are all tied up as the story progresses.

I liked that things like continuation etc were take care of. There is a scene where Ranbir (Sid) receives a envelope and the watch on his wrist shows around 3:00pm. He then rushes out to meet his dad and the clock on the wall is shown as 4:00pm -Neat - I liked it.

Overall a nice movie and worth a watch.

The dreaded Achilles

2009-09-25T20:00:00.002Z

Its hit me.

After enjoying the fruits of running and running and having fun, I am sidelined now. Sidelined due to a dreaded deadly injury. The 'A' word. Its an 'achilles' injury.

I think it could be due to my increased trail runs or even due to increased speed work.

Tomorrow I was supposed to be running a 25 miler in preparation for my first ultra and now I am sat at home twiddling my thumbs and watching 'Strictly come dancing'.

Thats life. It can be a bitch sometimes.

So I have now started swimming. I enjoy swimming, though I hate swimming in a crowded swimming pool. I had gone swimming yesterday and it felt like a cattle market. there was a small section of the pool cordened off for proper swimming while the rest of the pool was full of kids splashing about and just having fun.

I enjoy running because of the freedom that it gives me. Just put on my shorts, shoes and head out. Nobody jostling for space. Nobody breathing down your neck. Its just you and the trail and the wind in your face.

Anyway I need to maintain my fitness and swimming seems to be the best choice as its impact free and can also keep me improving my endurance.

The Triathlon season seems to be over now and I havent brought a bike, so thats out of question. The only thing to do is wait out the injury for another couple of weeks and keep icing it.

Hopefully it will get better soon.

I live in hope.

What to do when things are not going well?

2009-04-20T20:12:00.003Z

Every so often - things go Topsy turvy and everything looks bleak and desolate. If you are not in a desert then things looking bleak and desolate is worse than being in a desert.

So what to do then?

This was the question that I asked myself as my life now seems to have gone off the rails. A number of conditions were conspiring to make me feel lousy about myself, my situation and life in general.

So I did what I always advice anyone to do - Eat some ice cream. Yes eating ice cream can set right all the things which are not going OK in life. For some people its chocolate - I personally cannot stand the stuff. I don't think its anything to do with the cavities in my teeth or the numerous visits to the dentist going through the drill (forgive my pun).

So some people like chocolates, and some like me prefer ice cream. Which one you the enlightened reader may ask. I prefer Strawberry cheesecake. To be more specific Haagen-Dazs strawberry cheesecake. There is something magical about that ice cream.

There is a method that I suggest you use to get the best out of the ice cream. yes, there is always a method to all madness in life. Not that I am mad. Its the method that I am talking about. You can tell from reading this blog that I have had a long day - and not a very good one. What can you say when my pipeline is empty. there are no qualified orders. We have a new MD and I am not making a good impression as I don't have a good pipeline of opportunities.

Yes, so when you have had a day like mine, then you need to do the steps outlined below:
1. Come home - throw your shoes into the rack.
2. Take off your blazer and throw it on the bed
3. Walk to the fridge (translation -Refrigerator for the posh people)
4. Go to the freezer section
5. Take out the Haagen-Dazs Strawberry cheesecake(if you don't have this brand - go to Tesco and get one)
6. Change into comfortable clothing
7. Switch on the TV and set the timer for 4 minutes
8. Watch some lousy programme until the timer goes off
9. After timer has gone off - go and take three scoops of ice cream into a bowl
10. Sit comfortably in your favourite couch
11. Switch off the TV
12. Sink you spoon into the ice cream and .... enjoy

So there you have it. A simple enough way to beat the credit crunch.

I normally go for a run of 5-6 miles after eating the ice cream. after all I am a dedicated eater and need to make sure that my appetite keeps up with the ice cream.

Enjoy your Haagen-Dazs Strawberry ice creams - don't worry about the credit crunch

I wish I get paid money for marketing Haagen-Dazs strawberry cheesecake ice creams - will make up for my lousy pipeline :-)

Where were you last night - Rocky?

2009-04-16T16:45:00.001Z

“Where were you last night” thundered Susan. Her face had gone all peachy and her eyes were a deep shade of red.

Her chest was still heaving as she continued “Rocky – I am asking you. Where were you last night?”

Rocky realised that Susan was frustrated and angry. Not much was going on good in her life but didn’t mean that she could transfer her frustrations to him. Uh uh – no way could he she do that.

So he did the thing that he always did when she was in this mood. He walked out into the garden.

That got her goat again. Earlier Susan was angry and now she was livid. She couldn’t believe that Rocky was not listening to her.

“Rocky – come back here at once. I am talking to you mister. Come here right now now – you lousy SOB” – she screamed as she threw the first thing that she got in her hand, which was a lamp.

She screamed again as the lamp hit the door and shattered to pieces.

“aah God. Why is this happening to me? Why me” she cried as she sat on the floor amidst shattered lamp in despair.

Susan was going through a tough time at work. She was due for a promotion to sr Editor at ‘The Guardian’ but lost the post to her arch rival ‘John Timble’. That had got her pissed and coming home to find Rocky was not home was simply too much.

Susan got up from the floor and went into the kitchen to brew a cup of coffee, when the phone rang. It was Debra her best friend.

“Hey Susan – there is an amazing news. We have got the funding. We can now start our magazine” screamed Debra.

“wow – that’s brilliant. The timing couldn’t have been more better. I was feeling bad that I had missed out on the promotion. Now I can go back and throw my resignation at John’s face” shouted Susan into the mouthpiece, her shoulders lifting as the tension seemed to have disappeared.

“Woooho” she shouted loudly as she disconnected the phone.
Rocky had heard Susan’s shout and had come running into the room – his tail wagging as he looked at Susan with his large droopy eyes sharing the excitement.

Toastmasters - completed 'CC' yeaaaaa

2009-02-22T18:10:00.003Z

I gave my project 10 speech on Thursday 19-Feb-2009. The journey took me almost 2 years. I could have finished the CC (Competent communicator) much earlier, but took my own sweet time to finish the projects.

What next? I will now be moving on too 'Advanced speaking projects'. Yes, I am keen to take on the advanced projects and learn stuff. So I plan to do 'Storytelling' and 'Persuasive speaking' as the advanced projects. I have always been interested in 'Storytelling'. I think that its an important way to pass messages. Everyone loves to listen to stories. I find that subtle messages can be passed in stories rather than in a linear logical way of speaking.

I am also interested in learning more about persuasive speaking as its related to my job as a salesman. I am keen to develop further and further in the 'selling' field.

What have I learnt so far?
I have learnt and enjoyed my time in toastmasters so far. I have learnt that I can communicate my message in a relaxed 'conversational' style. I am a fun speaker and can construct my message with a proper 'Beginning','Middle' and 'End'. I have learnt to speak impromptu and construct my message in a short space of time. Most important of all I am now a better listener and evaluator.

Will I recommend Toastmasters?
Definitely. Toastmasters is one of the best things that I done. I strongly recommend everyone interested in becoming a better speaker/leader to join Toastmasters International

What should I do now? - Join Toastmasters

2008-11-07T17:56:00.002Z

The times are changing now?
The credit crunch has begun thanks to the greed and lunacy of some large organisations. The world is now more connected than ever and the impact of the sub-prime mess is impacting the common man across the whole world?

Things are not going to get better. In fact its natural that things may get even worse before the changes happen. In a way its a natural law a cycle of change. Boom follows bust and bust follows boom.

So what should I do now?
Its time now for internal changes. Small changes leading to a better tomorrow. In times such as this its important to focus on developing your skills. Communication and leadership skills will help you the most.

And how do I develop leadership and communication skills?
- Join Toastmasters International.

What is Toastmasters International?
From a humble beginning in 1924 at the YMCA in Santa Ana, California, Toastmasters International has grown to become a world leader in helping people become more competent and comfortable in front of an audience. The nonprofit organization now has nearly 235,000 members in 11,700 clubs in 92 countries, offering a proven – and enjoyable! – way to practice and hone communication and leadership skills.Most Toastmasters meetings are comprised of approximately 20 people who meet weekly for an hour or two. Participants practice and learn skills by filling a meeting role, ranging from giving a prepared speech or an impromptu one to serving as timer, evaluator or grammarian.There is no instructor; instead, each speech and meeting is critiqued by a member in a positive manner, focusing on what was done right and what could be improved. Good communicators tend to be good leaders.

Archery - Reflects Life

2008-05-31T09:14:00.003Z

Something new. something new. I crave for something new. I love doing something new. That’s my nature. At least that’s what I keep saying to myself. I don’t know if it’s an excuse for my vacillating nature or if it’s something really good for me.

Coming to the point - I have started to learn Archery. Yes you heard it right Archery. I was reading a book by Paulo Coelho and he was mentioning about Archery and Zen like mind; soon I was hooked into trying it.

I remember my childhood days when as kids we used to form this group and play with our bows and arrows. It used to be fun. The Bows were basic and so were the arrows. Some of the arrows we stick which were even bent a little but still managed to go straight.

So now in my quest for self realisation, I decided to try out Archery. From what I have practiced so far, I am really enjoying it. Its good fun to be able to take a firm stance strings the arrow, aim and then let go. Simple steps but metaphorically speaking seems to encompass LIVING.

Taking a stance. If the stance is not firm then you cannot proceed. It’s a reflection of life. Firm stance = firm foundation. Unshaking, unwavering in approach. The very first step.

String the arrow. Stringing the arrow and lifting the bow as well as drawing on the string. Each of these is to be done smoothly. The actions all revolving around just getting down to it. There is no scope to vacillate at all. You just do it in one smooth motion. Again like life waking up, getting ready, getting to the office and starting work. All to be done with conscious thought and not just doing things mindlessly.

Taking Aim. The next step is to take aim towards the target. With single mindedness. Complete focus towards the target. Similar to the goals in life. It’s a simple fact that if you don’t have an aim / goal then the arrows will just drift away from the target. It’s a natural law and there is no escape from it. Well for me just writing and reading what I have written is a stark reminder that I am not having a clear goal and hence my life seems to be drifting around like some piece of log in a river/lake.

Finally letting go. Ah! This one I really love to think and reflect on. After you take aim, you let go of the arrow. Just let go. It may hit the target or it may not. You cannot control it. All you can do is aim and let go. Well if you have followed the process correctly then a majority of times you will hit the target and a few times you will miss. The basic rule is that this cannot be controlled. Again I find that this reflects life perfectly. In the Mahabharata (An ancient Indian mythology story) Krishna tell Arjuna "Karmanya Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana" - Which means "Just do your deeds and don’t worry about the fruits". Krishna (God) is basically playing the role of charioteer in the story to Arjuna who is an expert in Archery. Beautiful words expressing the natural law that our role in the universe is to strive to do good deeds through our actions but not worry about the fruits or results.

Now that I have begun learning, I hope I have the patience, persistence and desire to continue the study of Archery.

My experiments with Life - NO TV

2008-03-04T16:41:00.004Z

I have decided. Finally I have decided. After a lot of deliberation and thought to give up.........you guessed it (of course the title gives it away)... TV

I have had enough of the Box. It used to control everything that I did.

I used to come home from office,
1. say hello to wifey and
2. then sit in my favourite couch and watch "Master Chef" or "Dog whisperer" or some other programme.

The step no 2 was repeated ad infinitum. My life revolved around weather shows and reality shows and everything else that was on TV till I reached a point of no return. Every addiction must run its course and I finally decided (after my wife threatened me with divorce) that I would give up TV.

Cold turkey. Thats the method I decided to use. The first few days were very difficult. I was completely out of sorts. But I made it.

Now I need to give up surfing the web :-)

Reading - the right to write

2008-03-04T16:20:00.004Z

I love writing. Yes, I know there were gaps in my blog where it looked like the Earth ate me up but I do love to write.

And there are two books which I have read recently which have rekindled the flames and passion for writing. The first was Journal to the Self: Twenty-Two Paths to Personal Growth - Open the Door to Self-Understanding by Reading, Writing, and Creating a Journal of Your Life by Kathleen Adams. It first caught my attention. I have been writing for quite sometime but having a structure gave me some framework to lay the tracks. There are some very good ideas in this book for someone wanting to being the journal writing. Building a list of 100 is one such idea. For example building a list of 100 things which you are greatful for. Or building a list of 100 things you would like to do.

The next book that got me completely floored was The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life (Paperback) by Julia Cameron. I found her writing to be fantastic. The main thing that I have picked up and which I am now applying with great sincerity is the morning journals. On waking I now write 5 pages in a notebook in longhand. The exercise is therapeutic and makes me feel alive. The key is to not read what you have written. Just keep writing.

Hsing I -- Xing YI

2006-10-27T17:07:00.000Z

I am on to something new again. I love doing new things. Maybe this is it now. I am learning 'Xing YI' or 'Hsing I' prnonounced as 'shing yi'. Its fun. Its not like Karate which I used to learn 10 years ago. Its something totally different and I am loving it.

I am back to getting up at 5:30 am to practice Chi kung and Xing yi.

Lets hope that I am able to reach somewhere with it ...:-)
'San Ti' the first stance that you learn is all about structure. I realise that this is all about getting the basics right and doing it constantly until the whole system is totally natural.

I have been practicing the five fists as well and learnt part of the bear eagle as well as linked fists. I am currently finding the Beng quan as well as 'pao chuan' the tougher fists. Heng, pi and tsuan are kind of ok.

Cheers
Dan

From zero to 26.2

2006-09-06T13:16:00.000Z

This is the first article in a series of how to run and finish marathons
=================================================

The first step.

The first step is to decide. Unless you decide and make a conscious choice to run a marathon, you will not be able to complete a marathon. This is one of the most important step in the whole process. You need to say to yourself that you will run/ walk / crawl 26.2 miles and expereince the wonderful feeling of acheivement. Life changes from this first step until you actually cross the finish line and say 'YES'. It changes in a big way. Suddenly everything will be acheivable and possible. The sense of 'limit', will just disappear.

There could be various reasons for running a marathon from losing weight to collecting money for a charity and so on. Find your unique reason. Whatever it may be, just remember that you can do it :-)

So sit down grab a piece of paper and write down 'I have run the 'insert your marathon name here' Marathon and completed it feeling a wonderful sense of acheivement'

Put this up on where its visible and read it daily and visualise it deeply.

The next step is to go to a shoe shop and buy yourself two pairs of Running shoes.

Why do you run Marathons?

2006-05-08T19:26:00.000Z

If there is one question which stands out after I have started running marathons, its “Why do you run a marathon?”

I have been asked this question many times. And each time it evokes different feelings within me and different answers come forth to this question.

I have been running marathons since last year and have finished 3 marathons till date.

1. Cardiff marathon – 9th Oct 2005
Cardiff (Capital city of Wales) marathon, was a special marathon since it was my first marathon. I ran Cardiff on 9th Oct 2005. This marathon taught me the importance of goal setting. I have always wanted to run marathons since I could remember but never got around to doing it. Somehow the distance was too daunting or some other priority kept cropping up and I never did it. I am a runner since College days. I was in the NCC and was part of the cross country team. I wasn’t special but I could run. I used to run the 6K during those days. Marathons did hold a special interest within me, but like I mentioned I never signed up for the distance.

Then I came to UK in early Jan and through a series of coincidences the urge grew within me and I signed up for the Cardiff marathon in the month of April. It was only when the money was paid and I had ‘actually’ registered did the goal actually sink in. I was going to run 26.2 miles (approx 42 kilometers) on 9th Oct 2005.

Yes when I signed up for the marathon, I had set a SMART goal. SMART stands for specific measurable, attainable, realistic and tangible goal. So this marathon taught me that achievement is driven by setting SMART Goals.

2. New York Marathon – 7th Nov 2005
New York Marathon was exactly within a month of my finishing of Cardiff marathon. Initially it was a daunting thought of going all the way to New York to run the marathon. I had also underestimated the physical aspect of getting ready for a marathon. It is said that it takes at least 3-4 weeks to fully recover from having run a marathon and here I was planning to run my second marathon of my life within 4 weeks of my first.

This marathon taught me the power of support. The support of family, friends and colleagues. My company is a fantastic place to work and encourages people to face and overcome challenges.

Keep a higher purpose in mind. I was collecting money for ‘cancer research’ through my run. Every time my aching limbs wanted to quit, I would remember my mum. My mum had cancer. Anyone whose family member has had cancer will tell you that the pain becomes unbearable at times. Still my mum used to smile and bear through it. During the run, when I would feel pain, I would just shift my mind and imagine to myself that the pain I was now going through was nothing compared to the pain that my mum went through and then keep going.

Also looking at the fellow runners who also had similar stories would fill me with strength and I would keep going. The human body is an amazing thing and the limits we place are nothing compared to what we can achieve.

Overall the experience was fantastic. I also learnt to really respect my body and listen closely to what I was going through. Though I completed the marathon it was an experience I wouldn’t like anyone to go through.

3. London marathon – 23rd April 2006
London marathon is special place in my heart. I have always dreamed of doing the big five marathons (New York, London, Berlin, Chicago and Boston) and this was like a dream come true. Getting into big city marathons needs a combination of luck and deep pockets. This time luck was on my side as I got a place through the ballot. My training to break the 4 hours was going on very well, when injury struck in mid Feb and all my training came to a stand still. For a runner an injury sometimes is worse than a death sentence. Anyone who is addicted to running will realise the horrible time that a runner goes through during injury times. My knee ground itself to a halt.

But I didn’t want to miss this opportunity. I could have postponed my place into 2007 but somehow I didn’t feel like doing it. I could walk but was not in a position to run. I still decided to walk / run the marathon. I kept visualising myself crossing the finish line of the marathon, feeling strong and confident.

This was by far the best marathon that I have ever done. I learnt when doing this marathon that mind power when harnessed through visualisation and vivid imagery can work wonders. The marathon was tough and really hard to go on in a few sections, but the will to finish proved stronger.

I also learnt that when you convey to your body that ‘giving up’ is not an option then the whole focus moves into getting the ‘job’ done.

So finally if someone asks me what my marathoning experience has taught me, I will say:
1. Set smart goals and achieve them
2. Feel the pain of others and thank God for what you have.
3. Visualise your goals clearly.
4. Never give up.

So I hope this answers the question of ‘Why I run marathons?’

(And I hope you now start running too and join me in this ooooh so painful pursuit :-) )

It cant be happening to me !!

2006-04-18T18:32:00.000Z

I waved to the crowds and smiled a nice big glorious smile at no one in particular. It’s the 9th mile and I am going strong. The scene is London marathon the spring of 2006. I still couldn’t believe it. This cant be happening. After doing New York last year in the fall of 2005, I was now here in London. This was simply amazing. The atmosphere, the crowds, the noise and the excitement. I couldn’t even hear myself amidst the hullabullo.

Then it stuck at mile 20. My dodgy knee started hurting me. The pain slowly got unbearable. I wanted to quit. I seriously wanted to just sit down on the sidewalk and wait for a ride home. Then I saw something from the corner of my eye. There was a small gap in the road where I could see a number of runners slipping in. I also slipped out from the main road, thinking that I could take a leak and walk back to the main road and then give up.

What I then saw amazed me, the runners were slowly lining up and getting into this charity bus. Then I realised what was happening. The charity was giving these runners a short cut. The usher saw me and quickly brought his finger to his lips and urged me to get on the bus. I was torn by indecision. A part of me wanted to go the proper way and a part of me wanted to take this short cut. It seemed like eternity before I could feel this small devil on my right shoulder prodding me to get on the bus. In that moment of insanity, I did it. I got on the bus.

We reached mile 25 and went through another bylane and joined the main race. I finished in 5 hours ad 55 minutes. I reached the finish and was given a medal by the volunteer. I met my wife at the family meeting point. I had tears in my eyes. She thought I was exhausted and had done the race in a proper way and gave me a comforting hug. Then I could bear it no longer and told her what I had done.

“WHAT?” she screamed. “How could you do this?”

Suddenly I woke up in cold sweat. I was in my bed dreaming. Thank god, it was a dream. The sense of relief I felt was tremendous. The very thought of cheating, even though in a dream had got me completely drenched.

“Honey. Are you awake?” my wife came into the room looking sweet in her new dress. “Did you bring the gifts for our baby?”

“Oh shit”. I had forgotten the gifts for our baby’s first birthday.

“Oh no, dear, I forgot”.

“What? How could you forget? That was the only thing I asked you to do and you forgot? This is outrageous.” She picked up the alarm clock lying on the table and threw it forcefully towards me.

“Jingle bells, Jingle bells”.

I fell down from my bed and woke up.

I looked at the phone “Jingle bells, jingle bells” and heaved a sigh of relief. Thank god it was dream.

I picked up the phone “Hey Danny boy, wake up, Where the **eff are you? The boss is hunting you like crazy, you **hole, you are late for the client presentation”

It’s going to be bright and sunny

2006-04-15T10:07:00.000Z

“When will you predict it correctly?” thundered Sue.

She was pissed and rightly so. Sue was a small petite woman married to George. George looked down at his wife (literally), with sad brown eyes. George was 6’2” inches tall and was a weatherman at the local TV station in Yorkshire. He had been trying to predict the weather with no success since the past 12 years and this was a cause of constant grief in his marriage.

He tried quite a few times unsuccessfully to explain to Sue about the computer systems used in weather prediction and news reading, but she could never understand any of it.

What got her goat was the fact that George was always a topic during the weekly Tea parties, which she used to host and she really hated it. She was particularly angry with Mary who always poked fun of George and his wild predictions. Mary and her husband-Tom (who was a fisherman) lived just next door to George and Sue. Mary always recounted how Tom always expected the very opposite of George’s predictions and managed to come out on top.

One particular incident which she never missed regaling during the tea parties was about the ‘Bright sunny with mild showers’ and how it turned into ‘Wild gales and thunderstorms’. Sue didn’t need any reminding of that incident as she and George were drenched to their skin on the day. Based on George’s prediction they had decided to go for a picnic to Harewood house.

This incident always got the tea party started and everyone used to roll down laughing on the floor.

“When will you predict it correctly?” thundered Sue, after the last tea party. She was at her wits end of how to handle the constant barbs from Mary and was now transferring some of her frustrations to George.

“I know how” piped George.

“I will predict the opposite of what is the actual prediction”

“wow. Why did I not think of this?” – Sue.

Two days later

Scene- Sue and George were sitting down for Dinner.

Sue is looking very pleased. She looks fondly at George and says “Do you know what happened today?”

“No. Tell me” replied George looking expectantly towards Sue as he filled his plate with the Smoked Salmon.

“Mary was totally flattened. Each of your predictions were bang on target and since people are so accustomed to your ‘wrong’ predictions Tom was caught on the wrong foot and was deluged in this massive down pour after you predicted a massive ‘downpour’” Laughed out Sue totally out of breath with excitement. She couldn’t contain herself. After 12 years of being made fun of, it was now her turn to enjoy the fun.

A week later

In a weeks time, George had become something of a mini-celebrity. People were now watching his weather forecasts with a new found respect for him. He was now accurate 100% of the time. It was just amazing. His new formula was working to perfection. But this was causing Sue more problems now. After George’s new found success, he was getting besieged with offers for party’s and dinner invitations. Sue didn’t like this. She didn’t like it at all. In fact she hated it. She liked life as it was before. The quiet walks down the river in the rain (prediction ‘sunny and bright’ by George earlier), the time spent with George after dinner etc etc; you get the drift.

“You must predict wrongly” Sue said with quiet determination. She and George were sitting at the breakfast table before he went forth on his early morning shift.

“Ok” replied George meekly. He looked tough but was a good husband. He knew how to keep his marriage going. He admired and respected and totally feared Sue.

“I will predict the opposite of the opposite of what is the actual prediction” he said in a quite monotone.

“Ok so it means you go back to the usual predictions”. Sue was quite smart and could always cut to the chase. She never beat around the bush and always came to the point.

“Yes, yes that’s what I meant” said George.

At the local TV station

Unknown to George the TV channel had introduced a new advanced computer system the same day with a superior weather prediction system due to the advertisements received after George’s successful predictions.

I am no George, so I cannot predict what happens next!!!!!!!

© Dan’s articles. Reproduce with Author’s permission only

Wants and Needs

2006-04-09T15:14:00.000Z

Wants and needs?

Oh yes Wants and needs. Ask any guy who did their MBA in Marketing and they will say 'yes - Wants and needs is something we studied very seriously?'.

Ask them the difference now and they will say 'Wants are needs in a way. Needs converted to 'firm needs' making them 'wants' or some crap like that. Marketing chaps are always like that give them something simple and they will over-simplify it and make it complicated with lot of jargons and stuff. Add in some nice TLA's (Three letter acronyms for the poor un-initiated souls) and thats it. BTW (By the way - I am getting tired of explaing all TLA's now) I am myself an MBA, so have nothing aginst my MBA brethren.

(In a nutshell, I need to listen to music and can do it in many ways. But now I want and iPod)

Well after all this ramble some chap or chappin (Fair ladies) will be asking themselves 'What the hell is he trying to convey here?'

Well today I ordered a PDA (Personal digital assistant). Well I cant get a nice pretty assistant so I am getting myself a PDA.

I seem to have so many gadgets in my home now. A GPS watch, an Ipod, 2 mobiles, a cordless, digital camera etc.

So the point I am trying to make here is - Do I need so many gadgets?

And the answer is No.

But I want the gadgets.

So I dont need the gadgets but I want the gadgets. Does this make sense?

Why buy something which you dont need but want?

This is where our marketing friends come in. They help create wants out of needs and sell you stuff that you dont need at all.

Now where will this end. Well in time some smart chappie is going to realise that there is a 'need' for some services around disposing off all your gadgets and getting into a rental business of gadgets.

So in case some Venture capitalist or some someone who has whole truck loads of cash and wants to invest in something is reading this, then please contact me and we can work a deal :-)

Whats in a toast?

2006-04-06T22:54:00.000Z

To toast or not to toast?

'Toast', hearing this word brings in quite a few thoughts in my head, including the bread toast. But its the other toast that this post is referring to. I dont recall when I first read about 'raising a toast' and what it actually meant. It must have been quite a while ago when I was around 14 or 15 maybe after reading about it in a book.

So when I first heard of 'Toastmasters' in Malaysia I thought it must be a person who is a master in raising a 'toast'. Well I was right in a way to think that. But then I learned that there is an international organisation called 'Toastmasters International', which works in the area of public speaking, presentation and leadership. This is a non profit body.

So here I was now about to deliver on my first impromptu speech after attending my first toastmasters meeting in Leeds today. During the meeting some members stand up to deliver impromptu speeches on topics picked from a hat. This time in the meeting the speeches were around countries and country I picked from the hat was Spain.

I managed to do ok and lasted just over a minute. It was only after the speech that I begain to think of the way I structured the speech and how I could have done it differently. Overall I must add I did enjoy it.

I like the concpet of Toastmasters and the amount of fun and learning that is possible. The structure of the session and the positive encouragement is fantastic.

One of the important lessons I learnt from attending todays session was the importance of starting a presentation and ending a presentation with a bang.

Watch this space :-)

A Million Pounds experiment

2006-03-19T10:02:00.000Z

A new awakening. And a new Begining. And a new post. I recently came across Steve Pavlina's Blog and something there really caught my fancy. This is the million Pound experiment. I have taken some liberties and called the million dollar experiment as million pound experiment. Why?

Primarily two reasons.
1. UK Pounds seems much more in value than US Dollars.
2. I stay in the UK and decided to change the curreny into something which I needed here.

So the experiment as described by Steve is that on a subconscious level you can direct the universe to help you with your goals.

"In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, in its own perfect time, for the highest good of all, I intend £1,000,000 to come into my life and into the lives of everyone who holds this intention."

The full details of Steve's experiment can be found here

So all ye good mean and women, please send in your heard earned money in nice samsonite or VIP suitcases to UK and I will post on this blog if the experiment was a success :-)

Life in the Fast Lane

2006-03-11T10:57:00.000Z

Its been a long while. A long long break from my one-a-day blogging days. And things have been moving quite fast since then.

I have got a new first to my credit. Something I never experienced in India (Thank God). No this is nothing to do with calls from Dubai or some other place like that. And yes this was something which came in the post.

Ok let me do a quick Hindi movies style flash back so we can get the context.

Scene 1: August 20th 2005. A flashback guys. The day is a bright summer day in August. I am driving down to Bristol with me dear wife. We were chatting along gaily. Me updating her with me office stuff and other general stuff. Then I saw it. A nice big board which said "40 Miles per hour".
I saw a few people slowing down sincerely to 40 and I laughed at them. 'Huh what 40 miles per hour?' And turning to me wife 'These UK folks just put all these speed limits all around. Its so funny.' And I continued at my 60 or 70 that I was doing.

After a few 100 yards another sign came up saying "Speed Cameras", with those camera sign imprimted on them. I just shrugged it and drove on. How can some puny signs force me to go slow.

After antother 100 yards there was another sign "40 miles per hour + Speed Cameras". And I shrugged it too. Huh who did they think they were? Trying to tell me what speed to drive at???

And then it happened. You know somethings happen so fast but you can always remember them as if it happened in slow motion.

Now the rest of what I am writing here needs to be imagined in ssslooow motiiion.

I just looked to me leeffft and saaaw the blaaasted camera. I was just pointing it to me wife when I saw a 'flaaaash'. I kept looking at me left and forward not understanding what had happened, when me wife murmered quietly 'You were caught on camera'.

Scene 2: Feb 19th 2006. A day I cannot forget.
Its my driving test day. I shiver and quake as I get dressed in what I feel is something that makes me look like a sincere, mature driver. I reach the driving test centre and meet up with my examiner. We go through the usual stuff eye test and the other usual questions like whats underneath the bonnnet of the car , me -'Engine' and the classic Whats a blind spot, me - 'A spot which is blind'.

Anyway to cut a long long story short. I passed. Yeaaaa. I passed. After 4 agonising attempts I passed.

Scene 3: Feb 25th 2006. I receive a summons in post for speeding (refer scene 1) on the motorway in July. This is the first summons that I have received in me life.

Scene 4: Feb 25th 2006. I receive my new license.

Scene 5: March 10th 2006. 5 points on me new license and a £200 fine. The court experence was special will be recounted some other day :-). Now in the UK for the first 2 years after you get a license, if you accumlate more than 6 points on your license then you are a goner and you need to restart the whole process again.

My taste in Books

2006-02-27T21:22:00.000Z

What have I read?
These are the 25 most popular overall books at What Should I Read Next?

I liked it!

I didn't like it!

I want to read it!

The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - Douglas Adams

The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger

The Great Gatsby - F.Scott Fitzgerald

To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee

1984 - George Orwell

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J.K. Rowling

The Time Traveler's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

Animal Farm: A Fairy Story - George Orwell

The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien

Life of Pi - Yann Martel

Catch-22 - Joseph Heller

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

Lord of the Flies - William Golding

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen

One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Slaughterhouse 5 - Kurt Vonnegut

The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card

The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien

Angels and Demons - Dan Brown

Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk

Take the 'What" have I read?' test now!
Eight different categories to try!
Buy your books at Amazon US or Amazon UK

Gol Goals

2006-01-13T22:29:00.000Z

I was watching a very interesting programme on TV today called "My name is Earl". Its about a guy who finds 'Karma'. He decides to make a list of all the wrongs that he has done to people, which he needs to go back and correct.

That got me thinking.

What am I going to acheive this year?

It has to be difficult and should make me proud.

And then I got it.

This year I will get my driving license :-)

Now I feel so much better.

I can sleep soundly now.

License to Drive

2006-01-13T20:21:00.000Z

Scene I:
In the car, just after my driving test.

"I am sorry to say, you havent passed"

Scene II:
In the car, just after my driving test.

"I am sorry to say you havent passed"

Well third time lucky is what I sincerely believe in, so.

Scene III:
In the car, just after my driving test.

"I am sorry to say, you havent passed"

I was devastated. How can I fail? And not just once but thrice. This was not supposed to happen. Anyway I take solace in the fact that some of my friends are on their 5th attempt. So hopefully 'God willing' and with the 'Ashirwad' of family, friends and relatives, I will pass in my 4th attempt.

It is a bloody nuisance. Till I get the 'pukka' license, I will have to keep paying exorbitant sums for the Insurance.

I now believe in 4th time lucky.

will keep you posted :-)

A new year

2005-12-31T19:51:00.000Z

No.. Nope.. This post is not about new year resolutions !!

No Nope.. Its not about my marathon obsession !!

And no its not about World peace ...

This one is more of a ramble of sort ...

The year 2005 went off pretty quickly as all years go. Before I could say "achoo" the year was over and I am now sitting here wondering what the new year 2006 will bring?

I am not much into crystal gazing and stuff, so cant hazard any guesses about how the new year will turn out to be ...There you can now close the browser and head of into more .. whats the word here.. more creative territiory. (I scratched my brains but nothing came out other than dandruff.. Need to shampoo more in the new year)

Just wish that people will be more considerate of each other. Just pray that we will find some alternative energy source. Also wish that we can utilise the 'crap' we produce into a better source of energy.

Also pray that this new year brings in a much better weather to the whole earth. Maybe a global cooling after all the global warming stuff :-)

Well here is wishing all of you a great and excellent new year with lots of fun, happiness, great health and lots of prosperity !!!

Keep reading, Keep commenting, Keep on doing what ever you are good at doing.

Keep dreaming and keep dreaming of acheiving your dreams and yes of course 'keep writing blogs'

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Dilema of plenty

2005-12-01T13:18:00.000Z

Yesterday I got a surprise in my mail. Not email mind you mail. Well mail is still used a lot in this part of the world. You get a lot of stuff in the mail still like Bills and bills and more bills etc. But this time it was not a bill.

And I was surprised to receive it as I had never expected it. Yes I know thats why it is a surprise. It was also shocking in a way. But shocking ans surprise in a pleasent sort of way. As it is a choice which I am now being forced to make.

Well coming to the point. I received 'Acceptance' letter for running the London marathon. Its very very very difficult to get a place to run in a BIG city marathon nowadays. Unless you decide to run for a charity in which case you need to raise a large amount of money. So which means two kinds of training -one for raising money and the other for running the marathon. At least for London I only need to train for running the marathon and not raising money.

In the meanwhile I had already signed up to run Paris in April next year. And now I need to choose between PAris and London. Both are big city marathons and I want do do both. But this may not be possible unless I clone myself and send one to Paris and the other to London. I can actually create another clone to sit down and watch the race on TV during the same time ;-)

Most probably I will be running the London one as I need to produce a Doctors certificate for the Paris one and knowing how lazy I am, I will never get down to doing it.

And so Lond it is this year :-)

New York marathon done

2005-11-16T23:07:00.000Z

New York comleted. Bring on the next one :-)

I cant believe it. Two marathons within a span of one months. Am I dreaming. Nope not likely. Its time to give a pat on my back...

The going was tough in New York. I was just coming back from an injury - plantar fascitiis. Yes the name sounds very glam and hi-fi, but it turned out that almost 60-70% of the runners have it. Anyway. I hardly ran a mile after Cardiff and just rested on my bum.

New York was special. It is an experience which I will always cherish. The crowds. the energy, the enthusiasm. Its simply amazing.

I crawled through the race and somehow managed to complete it in around 5 hours and 56 minutes.

So right now, its a well deserved rest and time to put on some weight for me. I will start my trainings after this week is over again. Waiting to see if the next one will be London or Paris :-)

Cheers

I did it !!

2005-10-11T15:18:00.000Z

I am suddenly humming the song 'I did it' of my fair lady. This is when Professor Higgins goes about singing - 'I did it, did it', 'Everyone said it couldnt be done' etc etc. After Eliza Dolittle passes the test in the Royal Ball.

I finally have a tick in the box for something that I wanted to do for a long long time. I ran a marathon. I took 4 hours and 56 minutes to complete the Cardiff marathon. The first 21 miles went off quite smoothly with no stops whatsoever. After the 21 miles is when I walked and then I found that running became much more difficult. I was not tired but more weary and had laden legs. The knees refused to function. Maybe I should have walked right from the begining and mixed walking with running.

Overall it was fun. The feeling of having done it was something special. I cried a bit afterwards.

Now that one is done I am looking forward to the next one. The next one will be in New York on 6th Nov.

Ok Central Park here I come.

10 days countdown to my first

2005-09-28T18:03:00.000Z

Time flies. And how. It was just yesterday that I sat down and filled in a form saying "Yes I want to do it". "I want to subject myself to a torture of more than 4 hours".

Well running is not torture. Normal running of around 45 minutes to an hour. But 4 hours or more is. Your legs become like jelly, your head hurts and you dream of parathas and shrikhand.

Well I did run 3 and half hours last sunday and somehow survived.

Its amazing how we reach newer and newer heights without even realising it.

Anyway its now 10 days left to Cardiff marathon.

How I will perform? "God only knows" but yes I am looking forward to it.

A long brake ..

2005-09-11T17:24:00.000Z

Have been on a new project now and so access to blogging is totally limited. Right now totally knackered with all the travel and work ..

So no more blogs till things settle down. Which could be at least a month :-(

Once upon a time

2005-08-21T18:56:00.000Z

Once upon a time there lived a king. (I always wanted my stories to start with the line once upon a time). The king had a special problem. He couldn’t sleep. In fact many a nights he lay awake and wishing he could sleep like the rest of his people, but sleep eluded him. He had tried everything from counting sheep to walking a mile after dinner but it never worked. He tried warm baths and also eating before the sunset. He tried Yoga and swimming. He even tried reading books. He also had his courtiers sing some songs in whatever raga that is supposed to be sung in the night, but even that didn’t work.

So he went to see the Raj vaidya. Raj vaidya was a man of small stature with big brains. He had a huge head which always came up with amazing solutions to all the problems within the kingdom.

His name was ‘Raj vaidya’. Well what else did you expect?

Raj Vaidya examined the king. He checked the pulse, then he peeped into the kings eye after raising the eye-lids. He prodded the kings tummy and thumped his back, he then examined the kings tongue and finally announced

“awasthe sathema, ipolo eruki, tamhi dhirubhai”

All the people there were dumbstruck. They only understood Dhirubhai, which stood of course for Dhirubhai the legendary founder of Reliance.

The king was dumbstruck too– “what does it mean?”

Raj vaidya replied – “I was speaking in Pali. It means that you have to develop a vision like Dirubhai or else your eyes will keep searching for the elusive goal and you can never sleep. You need to have a dream. You also need to translate those dreams like Dhirubhai did.”

King – “Oh. Oh. Oh. Ah. Ah. Ah. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.”

Raj vaidya – “Have you been thinking of anything lately?”

King – “Yes. I have. I keep thinking of our neighbouring Kingdom ‘Santan-Lok’. I keep dreaming of declaring war on them and claiming their kingdom as ours.

Raj vaidya – “Go ahead my Rajan, what is stopping you?”

King – “My lousy prime minister is. He keeps saying that if we declare war on Santan-Lok, then we will have problems later.”

Raj vaidya – “What problems?”

King – “He says that Santan-Lok has a lot of 4 wheel drive vehicles and after we capture them we will not be able to keep up with the oil supply and thus the people of Santan-Lok will incite rebellion and we will lose our popular support base.”

Raj vaidya – “Well, in that case, we can have a road tax put up, which will help us to buy the oil and supply it to the people”

King – “hmm that’s a very good idea. But then it will encourage my people also to go for these four wheel drive vehicles.”

Raj vaidya – “Yes but we also don’t have any vehicles because we don’t have any roads. What has happened with our road development plan?”

King – “The road development plan was not passed by our cabinet ministers because the budgets are very low and there is no kick-back possible”

Raj vaidya – “Hmmm. I see why you are not getting sleep. You don’t have Dirubhaisitis but Salmanitis. There are just too many things on your mind. I have a perfect solution for you”

Two months later the Raj Vaidya met the King at a party. The king looked very well and fit and hale and hearty.

Raj vaidya – “How are you Rajan?”

King – “I am feeling ok. I have been sleeping well.”

Raj vaidya – “So what have you thought of the plan to invade Santan-Lok?”

King – “It’s a tricky situation but I shall invade after Diwali”

Raj vaidya – “Why after Diwali?”

King – “Well my new missus has very categorically told me that I can go to war only after the honey moon in Rajasthan”

Raj vaidya smiled wisely. He knew that after the King was married he would have new troubles to look after, but would sleep soundly, while the kings new bride worried about everything else. He had arranged the Kings wedding to a beautiful princess and everything had fallen in place.

Raj vaidya then referred to his golden mantras
===============================

When you worry
You must eat curry

When you feel lowly
Eat a snail slowly

When you want to cry
Eat a banana fry

If nothing works
Read a bloggers prose
Happiness will come
After reading some

And most happiness you will get
When you get your wife to fret

These are the golden keys
For happiness to increase

Follow these rules my friend
To get happiness in the end

Organising the rising

2005-08-16T15:55:00.000Z

Last week we went to watch the movie "The Rising- Ballad of Mangal Pandey" or something like that the title read. No this blog is not about my take on the movie.

So there we were planning for the weekend. We wanted to visit the Balloon festival which was in Bristol and also watch the above mentioned movie on the big screen. Yes there are still a few people left who enjoy the experience of watching a movie on the big screen and not on a DVD. There is a certain thrill associated with whole idea of watching a movie in a theater. It’s like the thought of it give you more pleasure than the actual act itself.

So on Saturday morning I called up my friend and checked the plan with him. And like how it usually happens the onus of buying the tickets fell on me. We had already planned on going to the mall for our shopping and we landed up there. I went around hunting for a optical shop which would repair my old spectacles.

My wife had decided to test the weight bearing capacity of my old specs and had found out that the rim less specs are not as strong as ordinary specs. Thus I was forced to use my old specs which had my old number on it. We went around from shop to shop asking, requesting, ordering, threatening and even begging the shop to repair my rimless specs. I was missing India more and more. In India, I could have got the same thing fixed in an instant and the charge would be something like Rs 10 or 20. But here they just refused to touch it.

So finally after a visit to all the shops we gave up the futile attempt and moved on to buying the tickets. We went to the multiplex and brought 9 tickets. The moment I paid and walked out of the multiplex, I got a call from my friend.

"Hey Dan. Did you book the tickets?"
Me - "Yes I did. Just now"
Friend - "Dont joke. Have you really booked the tickets?"
Me -"Joke. Why should I joke? And if I wanted to joke, I would have said - J Lo asked me for dinner or My car gives me 72 miles per gallon or I won a lottery. Instead I am here with watery eyes and a headache and booking tickets. Yes I have the tickets with me"
Friend - "Oh No. We were discussing the plan and we decided to go for the Balloon festival today and the movie tomorrow."
Me - "Oh no. So what do you want me to do with the tickets?"
Friend -"Can you sell them in Black?"
Me -"Black. Hmm That’s a nice idea. I could have sold them in black, only that the tickets are brown. Anyway jokes aside. Are you serious about the change in plans?"
Friend -"Yes we think it will be better as we have some night glow thingy for the balloon festival and it will be fantastic"
Me- "Ok then I will cancel the tickets"

After canceling the tickets, we started walking back home for a quick lunch. Now the British weather is known to be fickle. It can never make up its mind. The day had started out very bright and hot as we walked to the Mall and when we were returning it had started to drizzle. By the time we reached near home the drops were the size of a water melon and we were soon completely drenched.

The phone rings - "jingle bell, jingle bell" (Ring tones can be fun or irritating)
Me -"Hi"
Friend -"Dan, it’s raining"
Me - "Wow. Yes it is. I never realized it."
Friend - "Dan. Can you go back and book the tickets. Since its raining in Bristol too, the Balloon festival may not take place today. So we decided to go to the movie finally"
Me - squeezing out water from the phone. Covering the phone. Voicing out the finest Hindi expletives - "Goddamit. I am not going any where back again. I am drenched from head to toe and am going back home now"

Anyway finally my friend reached the multiplex to buy the tickets. As luck would have it the show was houseful. We were forced to take the late night tickets at an extra premium.

That’s the story behind organising the rising. About the movie.. Well next time ...:-)

A new set of wheels

2005-08-01T15:49:00.000Z

We brought a bicycle yesterday.

My wife was pestering me from quite some time that we needed a bicycle. So we decided to go to the Car-boot sale. They usually start around 10 am and go on till 1:00pm. Car boots are a nice place to spend about 45 minutes rummaging through stuff and buying stuff that you just don’t need and bringing back home.

I got up at around 10:30am yesterday and lazed about watching TV and doing nothing till my wife was dancing on one leg and had a 'Belan' (translation - Rolling pin ) in her hand. So I quickly got ready and we drove down to the sale.

We paid at the entrance and walked in (Me with dread and fear in case we didnt get any bicycle). We found one at a corner. It looked good. Around 5-6 years old. Rusted chain. Slightly wrinkled seat. It looked mature and wise. It gave one the impression that it was not the sort of bicycle which would love going fast and zipping between traffic. But more like a steady and serene pace through the side walks. I liked it. We asked the man selling the price - £20 he said.

Hmm. So my wife tried a few test rides. Now the way she rides a bicycle is unique. Usually we ride the bicycle by sitting on the seat, keeping one pedal up and pushing on it with all your might and also at the same time pushing with your other leg.

But she cannot start riding, sitting on the bicycle, she needs to start by standing beside the bicycle, keeping one leg on the pedal and then pushing with the other leg, till she gets the momentum.

So there she was in the middle of the car boot sale trying to ride the bicycle. Before she could get the momentum she had to stop and turn around and so on.

She liked the bicycle. She would have to visit all the other bicycles in the sale before she would buy the bicycle. She asked me to stay put at the same place in case someone else came in to lay claim on the bicycle and she set out scouring the place.

She found another bicycle, but it was not upto the mark in terms of price and also the brakes were not working.

So we came back to our original ‘Herbie’. I had already named her Herbie on the famous VW Bug.

Then started the most important ritual. Haggling.

My wife started at £10. Our seller said “No way”.

So we went up to £15. He said no instead lets toss a coin.

So I said to her in Hindi. “Theek hain. Lets toss a coin”.

“Nahin. Who expert hain tossing of coin mein, hum har jayenge”

To cut a long story short. She managed to wear his patience down and got Herbie for £15.

And now that we have a new pair of wheels, it has brought back memories of yore. I used to bicycle a lot during my younger days. It was the only mode of transport that we had in our small township.

Now plain riding of a cycle was for the weak hearted.

Instead I used to use the bicycle as an extension of myself. I used to sit on the front handle bar, lie flat on the seat, keep my legs on the rear wheels and basically do everything else other than ride the bicycle straight. Those were the days. Man how I freaked out.

As kids we used to even try and play ‘tag’ (catching cook in our slang) on bicycles.

Repairing the punctures, going on long rides, having 3 or more people on the same bicycle.

There are so many memories that keep coming back. My bicycle back then was a small blue color one. It was simple and had not gears etc on it. It had a nice bell, which was used and abused like hell.

I may have now moved on to different set of wheels like bikes, cars etc but my heart belongs to cycles and more particularly to my old blue bicycle.

Continuing on the missing mode

2005-07-25T14:51:00.000Z

Some things you do miss a lot. You crave for them like a kid craving for his /her daily dose of MTV or whatever it is that kids watch nowadays.

In India we do it everywhere. And its done with gay abandon. Nobody cares a damn if they are watched and stared at when they do it. Cops allow you to do it. You wife does not give you the glare when you do it and your Mom doesnt bother. Your kids love it though. PAsserby's stare at you when you do it but since everyone does it you dont feel like an alien.

My hands itch to do it here too in UK. But its actually dangerous to do it here. People stare at you as if you are from another planet. As if you have no sense of society and culture. Its awfully embarassing.

I am talking here of "Tooting the Horn". I am talking of Blowing your Car horn with a "I dont care a damn attitude".

"Aaah" the bliss of a well blown horn. A nice long drawn "pooooooooom".

I really miss it.

I am missing it

2005-07-25T11:09:00.000Z

Everyday in the morning in India, it used to arrive and fill me with joy. I used to wake up to it and if it didnt come my day used to be rubbish. It was a kind of addiction that I could never understand. But it did have a very strong hold over me. I also used to take it everywhere with me. On the breakfast table, In the Bus and even the loo.

I am missin it here though.

Newspapers cost a lot more and its not delivered home.

Shit.

The dancing leaves

2005-07-25T09:23:00.000Z

The leaves danced wildly in the bright sunshine. They were green and energetic and used to shake wildly for a moment before gliding to a stop. Maybe they were warming up slowly. All the leaves seemed very happy and enthusiastic. I could see the smaller leaves looking up and watching this dance of joy and dreaming of growing up to do the same.

The clouds moved slowly across the sky creating vivid shapes like mountains and gorges. The sunlight played hide and seek now with the leaves and they seemed to love the game. It seemed like there was an orchestra between the sun, wind, clouds and the leaves.

It was really fascinating.

So I switched off the Telly and looked out the window at the real thing.

Get me to office on time

2005-07-17T16:17:00.000Z

I felt the need to get away. Things were not fun anymore at our office ‘Time Tables publishers and Distribution’.

Our office timings were advanced from 10:30am to 8:30am

“Who the hell had done this” I asked Jane our office assistant.

“It’s Kathy” she replied as she continued stamping the office mail, looking at me with admiring eyes and throwing the stamped mail into the waste bin.

I picked the mail back, handed it to her and clicked my fingers in front of her face.

“Ooops. I should be posting these. These are the Customer invoices given by Kathy for posting. These have to go to the customers in time.” She said as she took it from my hand with a twinkling smile and slid her head languorously to the side and slowly slid off her seat as well. She seemed to fall for every guy who walked into the office.

“Jane. Look out” I said as I picked her up. Even I had this effect on her. Her eyes used to become all watery and she used to commit all the mistakes possible when I was around.

“Ok Jane I will be in my office but no phones and visitors please” I said to Jane as I deposited her back on her seat and walked to my office and closed the door. I had to get away and think.

I knew it was personal. I hated Kathy, our new business development executive. Why is it with some people that you hate them from the moment you see them. It was the same with her. She was a pretty babe. Yes you had to give her that. She was attractive and had a great smile to go with it. She was also manipulative. She twisted men around like rag dolls and then when there was nothing more that she could do, she ignored them. That was like driving a knife through their heart. Many couldn’t take it and just went and immersed themselves into drink or made a bull’s eye on their forehead and walked to the Archery range. Her ambition in life was simple; Make slaves of all the men folk in the world and rule over them.

She hated me too. The feeling was completely mutual. She was pissed that her magic was not working on me.

I was actually in love with my boss ‘Rita’. She was a superb girl. She looked fantastic, but she hardly bothered about her looks. All she was considered about was productivity, productivity and more productivity. If she could find some way to increase productivity by even 0.0005%, she would grab it with both hands and implement it immediately. I remember the last rule; There were small potty’s in everyones cubicle to save time going to the Loo. Ugh thank god it didn’t last a few hours as there was a revolt from everyone and she was forced to relent.

Sometimes I wondered if Cleopatra was back into the world in Rita’s body. And what a body it was hmm.

Her nose was cute too, again just like Cleopatra, it was nice slim, pointed and upturned at the tip just a bit. It also flared a bit when she was excited (usually when she heard the word productivity) and when she was angry (when she heard the word “no”). It was regal. And it conveyed the impression that she loved roses. I could visualise the nose dipping into a bunch of roses and coming out all flared up and excited.

Oh what a nose.

Now that I am on about the nose doesn’t mean that the rest of her didn’t match up. She was petite and short. But as we well know all great things come in small packages.

She also had the best lips I have ever seen. Lips that just said “come and kiss me quick”. I have spent so many meetings sitting and just looking at those lips and nose in turns that I must have looked like a puppy looking at someone eat ice cream in one hand and a pizza in the other hand.

Usually I went into her meetings and never realised what was spoken or said until I came out and Jane briefed me what happened in it.

Today I was instantly shaken out of my reverie when Jane told me that the office timings were brought forward from 10:30 to 8:30 in the morning.

I was literally zapped. Impossible!!!

“How did this happen?” I asked Jane as I shook her from her dazed look.

“Kathy told Rita during the meeting that this will help increase productivity by almost 6%” said Jane.

That would have been a clincher I thought to myself. Lately our company was under a lot of strain to maintain profitability. We were having issues with our margins. So Rita grabbed any opportunity with her petite hands. And there we had it our new office timings.

“What was I to do?” I thought to myself. I was an owl. Ask me to work throughout the night and I would gladly do it with my eyes wide open but ask me to wake up early and you could as well take a gun and shoot me. I am amazed with people who manage to wake up with the Sun and rush about with boundless energy. Whilst I used to wake up and sleep walk through making my Tea, sometimes adding salt instead of sugar in my tea.

My dog was also going crazy. He was a lazy bum just like me. Why is it that most dogs are mirror images of their owners? Not just in looks but in behaviour too.

I had this brown black kind of mixed breed dog named “Snoozy”. Yes he lived up to his name completely. Normally most dogs are very energetic and fun loving but Snoozy was an exception. He loved his sleep and hated anyone and anything which came in the way of his sleep. I feel that if a thief came in to my home and stole everything Snoozy would not have bothered unless the thief went and shouted in Snoozy’s ears.

So normally Snoozy used to enjoy it when I woke up around 10 and got ready in half an hour flat without making any ruckus. But now from the time the office timings were changed I just could not adjust and hence was banging my head around as I sleepwalked my way to getting ready. I also left my lunch in Snoozy’s bowl and took his bone to office. So Snoozy was pissed.

“You will be needed for the 3 day customer seminar at Leeds next week” said Jane as I ambled into the office.

“What? What seminar? I can’t go on this seminar? Where will I leave Snoozy?” I shouted. This can’t be happening.

First the arrival of Kathy, then the change in office timings and now this. Things were only getting worse and worse.

“The seminar with our key customers. You customers; Royal Train and Rail Bus will be around, so you need to be there too. And bring Snoozy along. I think the hotel has no issues with dogs. If I remember right they welcome dogs as they are sure dogs will not steal the towels” replied Jane.

“hmm Is this some more bright ideas from Kathy” I asked Jane sarcastically.

“Yes. You are right. Here is the detailed schedule drawn up for the event” replied Jane.

“Holy cow! As per this the seminar starts at 7:15am in the morning. Which nitwit has done this now?” I moaned loudly.

“I did it” said a small voice.

Both myself and Jane turned around to find Rita standing there.

I just could not bring myself to look at those beautiful eyes. God how I loved her and how I must have hurt her. Why does it always happen to me? Every time I say something nasty, I find that I have dug myself into a nice big hole.

Anyway after that episode I just could not find the courage to look at Rita. My life was quickly going downhill. The love of my life was angry with me. Not that earlier she showed any special feelings towards me. But still I always felt that she did have something for me. Now I just felt that there was no scope at all.

Then there was Kathy, who was doing everything to make my life miserable.

And Snoozy who was by now totally pissed with me. Earlier when I reached home there used to be a small semblance of a wag and he also allowed me to pet him lightly on the head. Sometimes I also wonder if it’s more like he kept me as a pet or vice versa. Now the moment I walked into the house, he would continue watching TV without even glancing over. And now he didn’t even allow me to touch the TV remote. Even if I so much as glanced towards the remote, I could hear the growl deepening. The only solace I had during these dark times was as I gazed at the photograph of my Rita.

The Seminar

We reached Leeds and checked into Bewleys. It’s a beautiful hotel on the outskirts of the city. We were put up on the 3rd floor and the seminar was also on the same floor.

Getting up at 6:30 am to get ready was complete torture.

Snoozy was very flustered when I switched on the TV to get a quick peek at the news. He pulled his duvet and covered himself and growled a few times as a warning, to keep the volume low as he caught up his sleep. He was up late into the night watching “Big Brother” the reality show where they put a bunch of idiots in a house for 13 weeks.

“Snoozy. Damn you where are the seminar presentation slides?” I shouted at Snoozy as I frantically searched the sheets. Rita had given me the presentation slides to review and now I couldn’t find it.

“Snoozy. Snoozy wake up you mutt” I shouted raising my voice.

“Snoozy you idiot. Did you eat the slides? Answer me” I screamed.

Snoozy didn’t move a whisker through my whole tirade. In between he moved his head and opening an eye looked at me accusingly as if to say “Those slides tasted awful. Next time at least flavour the papers with mint”

There was nothing I could do. This was the nadir. I was sure that I would be sacked now. My heart goes out to kids whose dogs actually eat their homework.

I reached the seminar just in time to find everything was already setup for the day. I quickly rushed over to Rita, who was sitting in the centre row.

“We need to talk” I whispered to her.

“About the presentation?” she asked

“Yes the presentation” I replied. My heart sinking with every second as I was quickly thinking of ways to tell her about how my stupid mutt ate her presentation slides.

Just then we were interrupted.

“Rita. You are wanted at the entrance. The chief guest has arrived” announced Jane.

“But Rita” I continued.

“It’s ok Mike. We can discuss this later. I have changed the schedule for my key note address to be done after all our customers speak” she said and walked towards the entrance.

There was nothing I could do for now and so with an even dark mood I took my place beside my customers. John and Sharman were representing Royal Train and Rail Bus respectively.

They were to speak first at the seminar.

They took to the podium together. They started well with all the good things about us and then mentioned that they were not happy with our new office timings. My customers were more like me. Easygoing and relaxed. If something could be postponed they were the ones to do it. (If the payment could be postponed they would gladly do it.)

But I managed them well and kept them happy. If there was something in my job that I enjoyed, it was my customers. I loved my customers and had developed an excellent relationship with them.

They were definitely not happy with the early hour’s shift of my office timings. It frustrated them when I called them up early in the morning. I can understand their concerns. Imagine how you would feel if your vendor called up when you were still in bed or worse in the loo. Imagine how you would feel when you were about to slyly eat the lovely cake prepared by your wife at the breakfast table. Suddenly the phone rings and your wife catches you in the act.

They signed off the seminar reiterating that they were glad with the relationship but just wished we move back to our old timings.

Kathy’s customers were not too happy with us and their presentation reflected their growing discomfort with Kathy and in turn with our company.

During lunch Rita came towards me and whispered “Mike I now understand what you were trying to tell me in the morning about the presentation. Can you help me out by preparing some new notes for me?”

Can I? Of course I can I thought to myself.

“Yes Rita I will do it. I was trying to tell you earlier the point that we need to listen more to our customer’s voice. In fact I can guarantee that if we go back to our old timings we can increase sales by 15%. I have it straight from John and Sharman” I replied trying to contain the joy in my voice.

“Excellent” she said and smiled.

I quickly whipped up the points and passed it back to Rita.

Rita gave a splendid presentation with my notes. The first thing she did on going back was give the sack to Kathy. I was promoted as Operations Director. And we were married within a month of the seminar.

I am very happy waking up late and worshipping the lovely nose. Rita brought in her own TV and hence Snoozy is happy watching his favourite programs. Jane too got married to the new Sales representative.

And yes our sales did in fact increase by 15%.

New Forest 10 miles - pant pant :-(

2005-07-12T11:50:00.000Z

Only 2 Miles into the Race and I was panting. Panting like a Dog with his tongue out and his tail well hidden from view. Though I did fancy becoming a Dog and slinking away into some nice shaded area of the Forest that we were running in.

I was running the New Forest 10 miles race. The race started at 12:45 pm on a hot hot hot (I hope you get it now) hot July afternoon. There must have been around 1000 participants there for the race. Since I hadn’t run 10 miles before in my life as yet, I didnt have any fancy notions about the time I would take. I expected to take 11 minutes to a mile thus finishing in around 110 minutes which is 1hour and 50 minutes for the folks who are no too good at calculating (I had to use a calculator myself).

And I also had my Brahmastra (main weapon in my armory), my Garmin Forerunner 201 GPS watch. The race started off well and I had taken my position way towards the end of the pack. Before the race I was having discussion with my wife on whether I needed to carry my running belt and water bottle. Initially I was skeptical about carrying my water bottle as I felt that it looked like a school kid going to school and also because no one else was wearing it. But try arguing with my wife.

The race started off well and I managed a slow pace. I thought it was slow but then found that I was running 10:30 for my first mile. Soon I settled into a rhythm and found myself running alongside an old person. Initially I couldn’t understand if it was an old guy person or old gal person since the old person was wearing a funny cap which covered most of his / her face.

I said "Quite hot aint it". (Breathing heavily)

Weather is normally a safe topic to start a conversation.

"Yes very hot" replied the old person.

I was still no closer to finding out if it was a he or she so I gave up and continued running alongside happy for the company in the hot sun.

"So have you done this run before?" I asked continuing in the same vein (Still breathing heavily).

"No. I have only started running recently. My son did the London marathon recently" she replied as she turned to face me while replying and still continuing her strides as she easily kept pace with me.

"Please go ahead if you like, my pace is more like 11 minute miles" she continued.

Maybe she was getting bored with me or was it that she expected me to run much faster considering that I look young.

So I just smiled at her and paced myself a bit faster, though it was killing me to run fast in the heat.

Since I had the GPS watch I could actually see the amount of miles covered and how much time was still left to run and the information didn’t help in any way but just made me feel like tearing off the watch and throwing it away.

The old lady was still keeping up just behind me throughout till we reached the 3 miles mark, when she moved off into the bushes for a small break. She must have watched the London marathon where Paula Radcliff did the same thing but on the road in view of millions of people.

That was enough for me to surge forward and leave her behind.

I welcomed the 5 miles water break and drank like a camel. I also poured some water over my head to cool it and then took off my shoes and dipped my toes into the water. Aaah it was blisss. I felt refreshed after the break and then continued further. I hadn’t stopped anywhere other than my water break and was still running ok. If it were not for the heat the run would have been really fantastic. I needed a excuse if I managed a rubbish time and I think the heat was a very good excuse.

The race went through Forests and we passed lots of horses as we ran. The place is famous for breeding horses. The horses were looking at us quite funny as they stood and gazed. I could see their mouths move like in the movie (Racing stripes).

Maybe they were whispering to each other “Look at that guy in the shorts, thinks he must be Tom Cruise, strutting like that in his tiny shorts and singlets.”

And the other horse replying “Are you a gay? Look at that bird, wow what a sight”

There was another water break at the 8 mile point. This time I took no chances and dived right into the glass and cooled myself. I also dipped my cap into the water for added cooling and then continued running.

I sang praises of my wife throughout the race as she got me to carry my bottle with me. I think that saved my life on this hot day else I was a goner.

I finally completed the race in 1hr and 56 minutes, which was not bad at all considering my age, fitness, the heat and the competition. I blame the competition for my poor timing as I didn’t feel like racing old people and making them feel bad, especially when they were telling their experience and putting their grand children off to sleep.

My next race is in August and I will keep you updated on that.

Nip and Tuck

2005-06-25T22:28:00.000Z

Nip and Tuck

I saw the board again.

“Nip and Tuck specialists. We are one of the best cosmetic surgeons in USA.

Anything you are not happy with in your body can be changed. We are the best. Our prices are guaranteed to get your jaw dropping and wanting the Jaw lift to set it right. If you don’t like your beer belly, and Flat Butt, we can get them interchanged.

Walk right in for a free assessment”

So I walked in to the counter, where there was this Pretty Young thing (PYT) with an hour glass figure and a plastic smile on her face. I wonder if she got both from ‘Nip and Tuck’ or if they are original. I was tempted to reach out and test it myself.

PYT: “How can I help you sir?”

I: “I need some nip and tuck”

PYT: “Of course you do, What exactly sir, If I may ask?”

I: “I need a double chin and some Frown lines”

PYT : “Of course. Anything else”

I: “Bald head and a beer belly”

PYT: “hmm right. The frown lines; Do you want them in any particular shape?”

I: “Hmm Give me the Mandela frowns. My fiancé loves Mandela and Danny De’ Vito. So please give me the Mandela frowns and a De’Vito Belly. I am doing this to demonstrate my love to her”

PYT: “hmm so sweet. I am sure she will freak out when she sees the new you. What does she look like by the way?”

I: “She looks fantastic. Her vital stats are 36- 23- 35. She has black hair and blue dreamy eyes. She looks a bit like Jenifer Aniston by the way. Though I personally prefer Whoppie Goldberg’s acting to Jenifer’s. We do have our fights about who is a better actor. It’s our engagement anniversary tomorrow and I am planning to ask her to marry me.” (I am breathless, as I always am on thinking about my fiancé)

PYT: “Wow. You are one luck guy. And she seems like a beautiful girl. If you will walk this way sir, we will need to take some measurements and sign up some forms”

So we walked to this wall, where she gave me a board with some numbers on it and made me stand up against the wall. The wall had the height measurements like we see in movies when gangsters are photographed.

She adjusted the Polaroid and flashed it a few times, each time asking me to give a different profile. She asked for a front profile and side profile. The she asked me to bend over and took a flash at my bum.

She then took out a mac and began typing into it at a furious pace.

She then got a trolley which had the biggest stack of paper I have ever seen. She set out a ladder and bid me to climb to the top. She followed me up and asked me to sign the stack of paper.

I was a bit hesitant initially to sign something without reading it, but she mentioned that it would take me almost a century to read through the whole stuff, by which time I would have lost my sight and also not got my nip and tuck.

She reminded me of the reason why I was doing it and all resistance dried up.

Also try arguing with a PYT with a cleavage deeper than the Pacific Ocean; On top of a huge stack of paper. I meekly signed.

We got down using the ladder. She then went back to her Mac and once again began typing furiously. She asked questions on my Date of birth, age, place of birth, style of birth (water, C section or normal), School, Teachers in school, Friends, food preference, sex, preferred position, Bank account number and Account balance.

She noted down my answers and after an hour of more furious typing she said “That will be $100k. Are you paying Cash, card or Barter?”

I: “I will pay cash. But how long does the operation take?”

PYT: “About 2-3 hours.”

So I went to my car and dragged my sack containing the cash into the clinic.

PYT (After counting the amount): “Well sir if you will walk this way to the Operation theatre, Dr Chris is waiting for you there.”

I thanked her and walked in to the Theatre, where I find Dr Chris in his Operating Theatre suit.

Dr Chris: “Hi there. We are all set for your transformation. Please lie down here and close your eyes. You won’t feel a thing.”

I woke up after what seemed like an eternity. I blinked my eyes to adjust to the bright light. I could feel my face all wrapped up in bandages. I squint my eyes and see Dr Chris gently peering down at me.

Dr Chris: “Hi The operation went off perfectly. How are you feeling?”

I: “hmm. All weary and worn out. Like I have just been hit by a Truck. It is quite painful”

Dr Chris: “hmm Love does makes the world go around. I read from your form that you are doing this for your fiancé.”

I: “Yes. She is a fantastic”

Dr Chris: “Well people nowdays are really in Love. I had another very pretty girl walk in today, she wanted a Whoppie Goldberg face and body. She told me that she was doing it for her fiancé too. She said it was her anniversary tomorrow.”

I am missing her :-(

2005-06-22T21:58:00.000Z

“I am really missing her” said my wife to me.

“hmmm” I replied in a knowledgeable way as I continued washing dishes.

“She could do so many things single handedly” added my wife, putting on her nail polish, with great concentration.

“Yes” I said like a good husband thinking about my “mom-in-law”. It was only 1 month since we had moved from Mumbai to UK and she was already missing her mom !!!

“Should we call her here?” asked my wife, pointing out to the one of the washed utensil and showing a small grease stain to me, with a pointed eyebrow.

“why not? I said” as I took the utensil and started washing it again.

“I wonder if she has got her passport created” continued wifey ji.

“Why don’t you call her and ask her?” I pointed.

I had forgotten about this episode completely till the other day.

“Sona. Would you like some tea” asked my wife, all smiles, as I came back from the office.

“Wow” I thought to myself. Maybe today is a good day and maybe, just maybe I can escape washing utensils today.

“yes darling, tea will be great. Masala tea will be greater still” I said pushing my luck.

“ok sweetu. Give me a moment I will make it. In the meanwhile do change your clothes and relax. Watch some TV”.

“Oh God. What does she want from me?” Last time she was like this and I brought a necklace for her, which is still weighing heavily on my neck.

“Hubby Dear please take a holiday tomorrow. We need to go to the airport”

“oooh” so that was it. Her mom was coming and my good days were coming to an end. Now I would have to even do the cooking. It was going to be tough days ahead and I could see myself looking like a train wreck from Sudan in a few weeks time.

So here we are waiting at the Airport. My wife more excited than a puppy in a park. Her eyes were all aglow and she was scanning the crowd waiting with an eager beaver look.

“There she is” she shouted grabbing and pulling my arm out of it socket.

“Where?” I asked as I reattached my arm back.

"Didi Didi" someone shouted from the crowd.

Then I saw “Shanta Bai” our household help wearing a nine yard sari, pushing her trolley, as she walked gracefully through the crowd.

Knotty thoughts

2005-06-21T19:37:00.000Z

Do we live in the future or the past?

We spend almost 15 waking hours a day. That’s almost 75 a week and 300 hours a month. 3600 a year.

Now with an average life expectancy for an alcoholic and smoker combination being 80 years, it comes to about 288,000 hours in a life time.

Do you ever wonder - what do we ‘think’ of all the time?

Now assuming your age is 45 years. So you have spent 162,000 wakeful hours. What were you thinking during these hours? Have you ever thought about what you have thought. I mean there are so many things to think about, that just thinking about thoughts gives me the heejee beeis.

Do you wonder at the thought connection? How one thought leads to another and then another and finally you come back to the first and gently tell it to buzz off since you liked the 3rd thought about the pretty girl who looked at you and smiled.

But does it go away, I mean the first thought? No its does not it comes back stronger and stronger and till you decide to sit down and have a chat with it and it tells you that the girl was not smiling at you but laughing at you.

But where is the origin of all these thoughts. From where in the ether do they come? I think that there is a kind of thought association somewhere out there. So they have this president of thought association who has millions and millions of thoughts. And he has this huge Plasma screen in front of him where he can look at each one of us.

So based on what we are doing and how busy we are, he decides to zip us the appropriate thought.

So imagine you are sitting and working very seriously about the new sorting algorithm that needs writing. You have just worked out the algorithm in your head when suddenly

“peek peek Do you think Sheila wanted to come home?”

God forbid it’s a thought. The thought president has sent you a thought. So now before you can blink, he sends you another,

“Peek Peek. If she had come home would you have scored?”

So before you can blink again, the algorithm is gone and suddenly you find that you need that coffee or toffee or something before you can gather your old thoughts on the damn algorithm.

The thought president in the meanwhile must have got some sadistic pleasure from seeing that you are in a soup. He would have sent a thought to your boss to check on how you were doing because he always saw you at the water fountain with his Secretary.

Ok coming back to my original thought. Do we think more about the future or about the past? I was interested to know this so I decided to take a poll on this and so put the poll on internet.

The following is the result of the survey.

35% of the people think of things they would like to buy within the next 1, 2 or 24 hours.

12% of the people think of the conversation that they had earlier with their wife, friend, boss, mother, in which they were grilled, coaxed, ordered or threatened.

22 % day dream about doing great things in life like riding a roller coaster, smoking a cigar, reading a book from first page to last in one sitting.

10% dream of work. Yes the alcoholics, I am sorry the workaholics, yes they dream of work, work, work and more work.

Yes I know the percentages don’t add up.
Because I am one of the 1% who wishes he could do numbers (and figures of course).

brief break :-)

2005-06-16T13:06:00.000Z

God took a break during the 6th day to rest himself so says the Bible.

And I too am now taking a break of a week after many days of blogging and writing fantastically. Nope I am not comparing myself with God here. Just that I can imagine how he must have felt after working for 6 days continuously.

I can already feel the strain after working for the past 3-4 days continuously (No not on my Blog, but at work).

Its true you know when God gives something he gives in huge quantities (Chappd Phaad ke in Hindi ). So when I get work to do, its huge, and lots of huge.

When friends come to visit me, they all come at the same time, same day, same hour and minute.

Relatives also follow this principle very sincerely.

But when ideas for writing come to me they come when I am asleep. When job offers come in, they come after I have already taken a job which I really didnt want, but was forced to take for want of choice.

Now surprisingly this caveat is not true for money.

When I get it, its only a faint trickle :-) and not like the floods which we have in Orissa.

I am an occassional Tambola (Housie) player and have always wondered why I never get the full house. You know Full house is when all the numbers on your card are full of small holes. I usually get zilch in Tambola or on some good days when a black cat has managed to cross my path its a top line or a Star.

So a line or star is Rs 2 or Rs 5 as compared to Rs 100 for a full house.

I play with the Hope that one day I will win Snowball (fastest full house or first card full of tiny holes)

And I hope that day will come, when I still have all my original set of teeth and all the other faculties intact to be able to enjoy it.

So thats life. I have now decided to take a break for a few days to work out ways to make trillions with a new idea. I will come back and share it with everyone. In fact the outline is aleady with me.

It goes something like this. I will bring in 3 people and take $50 from each. They in turn will get 3 more people and get $50 from each. Who in turn will bring 3 people and take $50 from each and so on.

This is still to be worked out in greater detail and I will take my time off to do this. Enjoy the break till then :-)

Flying Pigs and what not

2005-06-15T15:11:00.000Z

I thought I will write
A different kind of verse
Feeling the bite
of a summer gone worse

Went to the Supermarket
And brought a beer
Kind of funny I thought
As something stuck me quite near

It was a Pig flying
Out of the window
Dunno where it was going
Though it was a bit slow

Was it the beer
I had started drinking?
I was stuck by fear
of a major Piggy landing

So I continued drinking
And started walking back
Thinking of the Steering
That these Pigs lack

One landed nearby
Due to lack of fuel
The rest flew on by
They were very cruel

I didnt know what to do
With a stranderd pig
I am a veggie
Wearing a false wig

So now I have with me
a pig non-flying
If you want it then
Give me a ring

- I didnt enjoy the last few lines .. but couldnt do better. Maybe when I come back to this after a month (the pig would have taken flying lessons till then )

Typos and their effect

2005-06-12T21:15:00.000Z

Typos can cause chaos and how.

A small typo here and there and everything gets screwed up.

Imagine the wife reading an email from her husband.

Hi Honey,
Loved your massage. Waiting to see you tomorrow.
Luv xyz

She will have sleepless nights thinking about some female who gave her husband a massage.

Read this article on Rediff today about Heena the sniffer dog who died. Poor thing may her soul rest in peace.

The gist and typo is as below, unless Rediff found it and corrected it:

"About Heena, a police officer said she was trained differently from other sniffer dogs. "While other dogs bark when explosives are found, Heena used to shit," the officer said and recalled the good work done by her."

Just imagine. You land in Mumbai airport and Heena is sniffing your wifes hand bag. Heena now finds something fishy and she SHITS. Yes not sits which a decent sniffer dog would do but she SHITS because she is so special.

Simply hilarious :-)

My run with Haile Gebrsellasie

2005-06-12T12:47:00.000Z

8 miles. I thought it will be cool. What’s 8 miles? Just one more than 7 miles. I had done 7 miles last Sunday so I planned to do 8 now. I didn’t have too many problems doing 7 so 8 miles would not be a problem.

The run started off well. I had done 7 miles with a friend of mine (he had already done London marathon this year) last week. But this week I was doing it alone as he was out of town. Not alone really. Actually if you abstract it a bit (I love abstraction, as I am in software and in software you have to abstract everything), are we alone really?

I was not alone today, I had a virtual partner with me. It came in built with my Garmin Forerunner 201. So you can set it up and run with your virtual partner.

I don’t like running against a machine just like I don’t enjoy playing chess with a computer. No not because I always lost in chess with my computer. Well I enjoy it more playing chess with real people. I mean kids. Though lately even they have become very smart. The kids of today are so smart that the moment they are born and they come out of the womb, their first words to the Doc are “Fancy a game of chess?”.

So coming to my virtual running partner, I didn’t like things to be so non emotional. So I named my virtual partner Haile Gebrsellasie. Well it will be fun to beat Haile Gebrsellasie. So today I set out on my run of 8 miles and setup Haile Gebrsellasie to run the distance in 1 hour and 30 minutes.

The run started out very well, as I was running and keeping pace with Haile Gebrsellasie. After 4 miles I reached the half way mark and thought I would have a snack. I went to corner shop and brought a mars bar. Now when I brought the bar I also got something more than I bargained for. I paid for a 43 pence bar with a 5 pound note. So there I was running the return leg weighing 2kg more than what I had weighed when I started the run. Coins weighs a lot here in the UK. I had 4 pounds and 53 pence in change now.

I had also not bargained for the noise.

So there I was running and sounding like the Philliharmonic orchestra.

“Klang Klang, Ching Chang”

“Huff, Puff, Klang Kling, Ching, Ching”

The sound kept varying with the 20 p, 50 p and 1 pound coin creating a nice medley.

Soon I noticed that there were people standing on the sidewalk watching me with a comical grin on their face.

“Hey!! have you never seen / heard a runner before?” I shouted at a small kid.

I quickly removed the coins from my pocket and held it in my hand. It was quite difficult holding it in my hands too because of all the sweat. My other hand was busy too. I was eating my bar using my other hand. Soon I had coins in one hand and the finished wrapper of my mars bar in the other.

“where are all the bins when you need them?”.

Have you had this happen to you?

You are holding a wrapper and want to throw it in the bin and you can never find the bin. I ran 2.6 miles (I know its 2.6 because of my GPS watch) continuously before I found a bin. The relief was tremendous. I was looking very silly for almost 2.6 miles with a wrapper in one hand and clutching a change of coins in the other.

I threw my wrapper, “Klang Ching”.

“Oh no” In my happiness and eagerness to throw my mars wrapper, I didn’t realise that I had thrown 4 pounds and 57 pence into the waste bin.

So I went back to the bin and began rummaging through all the rubbish. If earlier I had looked funny, Now I must have looked out rightly foolish as I went through the bin.

By the time I managed to get 4 pounds and 57 pence successfully, I found that Haile Gebrsellasie had left me far behind and beaten me by a huge margin.

The MJ Trial

2005-06-11T11:43:00.000Z

This was a special trial and Paul Hitman could not believe it when he received the mail.

It read "You have been selected to be on the jury of MJ Hackman. The trial starts on 12th March and could take at least 3 months tocomplete or 4 depending on how many witnesses the prosecution can produce. During the Trial you will be paid a handsome salary of $150 a day. You will be allowed access to Toilets and Bathroom in the court. You will be allowed access to adult magazines. You cannot share your views with any body other than journalists of TV todayand CNBC. You will be allowed conjugal visit. You are being selected because you have 3 criminal convictions against your name. God help the other jury members. Amen"

Paul was happy. He still needed to work on and plan for his next scam. So this court case would give him enough time to think through his scam.

Margret Hatcher (65) was not pleased when she received the call for jury duty. She was a teacher at the Attila Mattila Sweet nothing International Public School. She taught English there for 1st , 3rdand 7th grade students. She was known for being more English than the English, which was not too difficult for her because she was English. Well not completely English because she was Scottish with Welsh parents. She had come to US with her parents when she was atiny toddler.

She hated MJ. She just couldn't understand why kids were so enamoured by a person who didn't like the colour of his own skin? He must have shed his skin more times than her pet Boa.

Sheez the craziness of the guy. And she didn't want to be part of this jury. But jury duty was jury duty and there was no shirking from jury duty, was there?

Stuart too-Little was also busy studying. He was planning to appear for his SAT exams when he got an email. It informed him very sternly that he was selected as a part of the jury for the MJ Hackman trial.It told him of the same stuff that was described in the 1st para above. Only the adult section was masked out. He was still a kid for crying out loud.

Brad Pity was about to go for his shot. No not drugs or anything like that. He didn't do drugs. He did Rugs. I mean he did it onrugs. Well at least that's what he had told Vanity Fair.

Well he was talking of situps and push ups of course.

What did youthink? You dirty minds. So there he was about to go and give his take when he got a call from his Agent Mikey.

"Hey Brad. I am sorry mate, but you are to do this Jury duty from next week".

"Mikey what? Jury Duty? Who is the Director?" asked Brad

"Well mate. It aint like that or anything. Basically its jury duty for the MJ case. You get it" said Mikey.

"Oh no. I have this premiere of Mr and Mrs Shit coming up next week. Don't tell me I am ACTUALLY on jury duty" groaned Brad.

The Sun was bright as Richard Brandsome took his Hot air balloon over theNiagara Falls. Till now he had done everything in his ballon but there was one other things which was still haunting him. He wanted to do it desperately and today was the day. The Ballon reached right over the top of the Falls. The water drops were small and were hitting his face as he slowly climbed on top of the rim of the ballon.

He stood there balancing, not able to believe that he would finally be doing it. He wondered if he should have called theGuiness Book of World records people to witness what he was about to do. He slowly held on to the rope and with his other free hand he unzipped his pants and peed into the Falls.

When he was done he let out a sigh of satisfaction and looked upwards to the sky. He had done it at last after 15 years of only thinking about it. What a phenomenal acheivement. Peeing in Niagara Falls.

Then he saw far in the distance the advertising plane fly towards his balloon. He didn't remember telling his VP that he wanted to advertise what he had just done. But his VP was a smart guy.

The plane reached near and he sawthe words "Richard Brandsome, you have been chosen for Jury duty.Please report to the court tomorrow".

Julia Robbers didn't have any work. After Erin Brokovich and Oceans12 she was kind of wasting aways, so when the call for jury duty came in she gladly accepted. She anyway liked court room dramas.

(The final Jury Julia Robbers, Richard Brandsome, Brad Pitty, Margret Hatcher, Paul Hitman and Stuart Toolittle)

TV Reporter:The trail went off quite well with the prosecution bringing in one witness after another until the prosecution ran out of witness. Thejury is now called to reach a verdict and here is what actuallyhappened. Since we have inside sources we are going to be bringing you the intimate details of the how the jury discussions are going on and the verdict that they have reached.

Court Representative to everyone (the jurors I mean not you): "Youwill now elect a leader amongst yourselves. After which you will discuss the case objectively and reach a verdict."

Richard: "Ok I am willing to lead you folks and let's get this done with so that I can quickly go and do the next best thing on my balloon"

Paul: "Wait high flyer. Relax. Whats the hurry? I remember the case of Mac Stuter vs Flistcuffs. That jury took 36 years to stick to averdict, by which time both the defendants had died and so had thejudge"

Margret: "Paul. Go and stand by the wall. How can you speak such rubbish?. Did you not learn about your `P's and `Q's?"

Paul: "Why they did? I read about the case when I wasted in jail. And why should I stand by the wall? What P's. I always P with the lid lifted up. Yes I does. And why should I stand near the wall?"(Actually he was quite comfortable sitting next to Julia and staring down her cleavage, not that there was much to enjoy, but it was better than staring at Richard the nut)

Brad (Coming to the rescue of Margret): "You scum. You better do ast his old lady says else you will have it from me" (Also flexing hismuscles)

Stuart: "Ok ok folks. No violence. We need to quickly select a leader. Lets do it the old fashioned way"

Julia: "We play musical chairs?"

Richard: "Hmm that would be fun. How about if we played musical chairs blindfolded?"

Margret: (Slowly tearing her grey hair in frustration and wishing she had taken those boxing lesson in the pensioners home) "No you dorks, the rat meant we draw straws"

Stuart: (raising himself to his full height of 10 inches, give ortake a few millimetres) (also raising his voice to his loudestpossible, which was more like a SQUEAK) "WHOM DID YOU CALL A RAT YOUFAT HORRIBLE UGLY WOMAN?"

Stuart then rushed in anger towards Margret who was cowering away in fear.

Brad who was sitting just beside Stuart decided to play the peacemaker.

So he quickly took out his gun and pointed it to the ceilingand fired – "BOOM"

There was a silence for what looked like eternity before a big piece of the wall fell and – Stuart was buried below it.

Margret: "Good riddance to bad rats. Thanks Brad."

Julia: "How could you do this Brad? He was just a tiny Rat. He was defencless against the Dark arts and everything in this world. I will not let this happen. I will make a movie on this. I will sue you for 5 Million dollars in the movie and also ensure that I get the rights for the movie in every territory including Timbuktu."

Brad was looking surprised. The gun was supposed to be blank. He wasgoing to use the same gun for a suicide shot in his new movie. The movie was part II of Mr and Mrs Sh** where he realises that Anjeline Jollygoodlips is going with Hunk sixpak and so decides to shoot himself (in the movie of course).

Anyway he sat there with the surprised and amazed look on his face.

Margret after the initial euphoria suddenly took charge: She had seen a lot of shootings on her campus. It was an everyday occurrence for her.

She resuscitated Stuart.

Richard was soon getting bored. He sorely missed his balloon.

While Julia, Margret, Brad, Paul and Stuart discussed the case, he quickly moved to the window ledge, removed his lighter and jumped.

What he didn't know and which he came to know as he went down, was that his lighter was stolen by Paul as they sat next to each other and thus his lighter which was a mini inflatable balloon was now with Pauland Paul's, which was only a lighter, was with him.

His flying days were soon brought to a splat stop.

Huuuff quite a long drop and a long sentence.

No no MJ didn't get a long sentence.

You see Margret didn't want along sentence while Julia wanted a long sentence.

Brad wantedAnjelina and Stuart wanted to study medicine.

Margret wanted to quither school and go back to England.

Court reporter: There is a sudden stop of transmission from the jurors, looks like one of our jurors has gone out of Range. The jury is still out on this one and I hope they reach a verdict soon.

(I know its a bit over the Top, but who cares, its my blog and I will jolly well write what I please)

How is your cholestrol?

2005-06-09T17:21:00.000Z

Smooth and Savy, they were both very hard workers. It was not unusual for them to have a 12 hour day. Unusual would have been if they slacked off. Yes that would have been unusual. They took pride in their work.

Every day they got up at the same time as the sun rose over the horizon and began working. Sometimes you could hear the strain in their voice when they lifted heavy stuff. But they didnt complain.

Smooth was a foreman. He managed a team of 20. He was quite a hard nut leader. Always barking orders. The only thing missing was a whip in his hand. But he didnt need one. The team he had was quite obedient. He liked Savy. Savy was smart. He had resilience. But Savy also had high cholestrol. Now Smooth though he seemed like a hard nut boss had a soft corner for Savy.

tut tut nope he wasnt anything like what u folks are thinking.

Every day after work they used to lug their bags which contained their lunch boxes and walk home together. They stayed close to their place of work. Savy was unusually quiet.

"Hows your cholestrol?" enquired Smooth

"huh .. Its coming down" blinked Savy

"The good one or the bad one" asked Smooth

"The bad one " said Savy with a weak smile.

"Whats the matter?. You look really down" followed Smooth. He was not giving up.

"Well Smooth. What is Life? Whats our purpose? Why are we here?" asked Savy with restless eyes.

"Hmm the purpositis .." said Smooth. He knew this.

" Dont worry Savy. This phase happens. Usually it comes once in a life time. Even I went through it. " said Smooth knowingly.

"So what do we do in purpositis? " asked Savy with all eagerness of a puppy.

"Hmm what you need to do is go for a long drive on a Harley. Go through the field visit places eat good food and dont worry about work. In fact you can borrow my Harley, its parked right outside".

"ok thats what I will do then tomorrow" squeaked Savy

They reached home and switched on the TV. The weather news was on. There was a prediction of some rains the next day after 3:00pm.

They both slept soundly through the night.

We all know the unpredictability of the English weather but never know how unpredictable it can really get.

It rained the next day. It rained really heavy.

The ant hill of Smooth and Savy was soon flooded with water and washed away.

Smooth and Savy escaped on their Harley and zoomed away.

Lance Armstrongs Story

2005-06-09T14:14:00.000Z

Read Lance Armstrongs third book yesterday "Every Second counts". I had mixed emotions on reading it. Was able to relate to Lance througout. Was fascinated to read the pressure he had to go through becos of his doping scandal. I am looking forward to see if he makes it a record 7th title. It will definitely be quite an acheivement.

A good news. Got my Garmin Forerunnner 201 on Monday. It has a GPS built in so that you can measure your distance and your pace. But I am having doubts on how accurate the distance readings are. I Did a run of around 3 miles but the watch said it was around 3.94miles.

Strange.

I am planning to drive through the same circuit with the tripmeter on to check if the watch is accurate. Feeling good now that my training will have different parameters being measured. The best part of the watch is the virtual partner thingy. I can run with a virtual partner. I will get beeped if I am slower or faster than my partner.

You know what would have been neat. A virtual partner who pinches. Imagine you are running and you get pinched if you are slow. Hmm that would be cool. Or the watch barks if you go slow and then pinches you?

Are all runners morbid like me or is it only me????

Gadgets Gadgets and more Gadgets

2005-06-09T09:24:00.000Z

One day I think I will need to find my way around my house using the special mask that we see in the movies which has infra red detection or something like that.

It's just that there is so much junk now in my house now. Walking around is difficult and I am soon going to be swimming in all thatjunk. Why do we hoard so much?

Its interesting you know, we go to the shopping mall and if dont purchase something we feel in complete. Like something is missing. Like you go to the village fair and come back and find that you have left your kid on the Merry go round (I know of many parents whowould want to do that). I feel the same way if I go shopping and come back empty handed.

I love shopping, not the way that my wife shops. If my wife takes me shopping then its like running a marathon, only thougher I think.

She loves to shop following a well defined process.

Sometime I think she must have been a project manager in her earlier incarnation. She is very methodical. She plans. Then she thinks and re-plans and thinks again.You know how it is with these project managers, who never get downto execution but keep planning for as long as it possible before coming up with an analysis which says that the project is not feasible.

My wife is in a way much better than the project manager. She plans and executes too. So here we go shopping for her pair of shoes.

In the time that it takes her to finally find a pair, which has
1. Matching price,
2. Matching color,
3. Made of the matching material (Crocodile skin) and most important of all she likes it, I find that my pair is wornout and I need to buy a new pair.

My shopping is pretty straightforward. If I need to shop for shoes, I head straight to a shoe shop where I can find a pretty sales assistant. And then spend the next 30 minutes chatting with her on pronation and cushoining and then buy my pair. Simple right.

But by the time my shopping is done I find that I have brought
1. A new pair of shoes,
2. 2 pair of water proof socks,
3. GPS system,
4. Water Bottle,
5. Camping equipment
6. Wireless Radio,
7. Caravan with radial tubeless tyres,
8. Rechargeable waterproof torch
9. Crocodile net (raw material for my wifes shoes).

So now you know why I am looking for the infra red mask :-)

The Badminton match

2005-06-09T08:08:00.000Z

Yes I will be ready for him" I muttered.

I was and I knew it.

I was going to play to a level that I had never played before, If it helps I had never played before.

Deep down I knew it. It was going to be now or never. I would not have another chance. I loved Mary and if I had to have her hand then I had to win the Badminton match against Roughneck Blinkensow. He was tough bloke. He was well known across the city as, "tough bloke". He was known to have dismembered pigs with his bare hands while he was playing with his other hand.

Well don't ask me how many hands he had?He seemed to have lots of them. He could cover the court. Yes he could. It was not known in the 1950's but he actually used to play Badminton wearing inline skates below his skirt, thus giving him phenomenal coverage of the court.

How did I know this? I didn't know it now but came to know of it later, but since I am writing now, I know about it. It's confusing I know, but please bear with me as it will get more interesting as we go further.

The Badminton match was organised by the Athens committee for fair play. The prize money was huge. It was 20 horses of which 10 were of Arabic origin and the remaining 10 were Bulls. Horses, Bulls?Since the organisers were known to club animals of similar characteristics into a single category, hence the 1st prize was 20 horses.

Right the second prize was 10 horses of which 5 were bulls and remaining 5 were mice. Ok the prize money is covered so we can move on to the match now.What was I playing for? I was playing for Love.

Yes I was in love with the match organisers daughter Mary. She was smart cookie. No not the kind that's left behind on the computer to get all the details of your bank and mail it to me but the other kind. She was as smart as Einstien and would have become as famous as him, only that she couldn't publish her theories.

She couldn't write you see.

So where were we? Yes the match.

The match started with a Bang. Roughneck Blinkensow had just trampled the second prize (a few mice). While no one was looking he put on his inline skates and glided into the court.The court was packed.

There were court jesters, jokers, sports commentators, wastrels, beggars and not to forget myself and Roughneck Blinkensow on the court.We got the court cleared of the court jesters, jokers, sports commentators, wastrels, beggars and finally had the court to ourselves.

The refree climbed on top of his Bull to refree the match. He pulled the tail of the Bull upwards into the sky to Toss, for who gets to begin the match. I called "crap".Well in those days the toss used to be quite simple. If the Bull did crap, the guy calling crap won.

This time I won. I was happy. I decided to serve. I had a strong feeling. Actually it was the bull's tail tickling me.So there I stood in all confidence serving to start the match.

I had mentioned I was playing for Love. I finally ended up in Love. The score line read 15-Love in favour of Roughneck Blinkensow.I had lost. I couldn't believe it.

All the omens were pointing otherwise, how could I lose??Suddenly there was a furore.

The Athens committee chairman came shuffling in his chair to make an announcement. It was taking long. It was taking long because he was trying to climb to the podium with his chair stuck to his behind.

Finally he reached the podium and made the announcement in his sonorous voice "Athens committee for Fair play has found that the play has not been fair. We hereby decree that Roughneck Blinkensow has cheated. He has been taking anabolic steroids and thus has won his match. We hereby decree that the new winner is Dan fairman".

There was a stunned silence. And then the hall ruptured. The court jesters, jokers, sports commentators, wastrels, beggars, horses, bulls and mice were on the court to congratulate me.

I cried "Mary Mary.." (If you remember Hot shots part Deux then you are on the right DVD).

She came into my arms. She was smelling strange. I then realised later that Smart Mary had spiked the urine sample of Roughneck Blinkensow with the Arabic horses urine !!!

The conference Call

2005-06-07T13:27:00.000Z

“God I hate these conference calls” muttered Lucy Fluttersome.

She didn’t understand why they were needed and what they helped achieve. She hated them completely. Ok if at all they had to be done then why not Thursday or even Wednesday, Tuesday was fin and so was Monday but Smith Twiddlethumbs had to have them on Friday.

Lucy was on the way to becoming a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. She was having a tough time giving up her Friday Booze. She loved a nice tipple during lunch on Fridays. A small glass of Bacardi followed by a tiny bit of Gin and Tonic and washed down with a pint of beer and some nice scotch and not to forget the jack daniels hmmm. She was a mini celebrity at the Pub.

Aaah that would set thing up so well for her work too.

No she never cracked up after all this. Instead she became an exceedingly conscientious worker after the visit to the pub. She did her own work and also the work of her colleagues and that of her sub ordinates. Her capacity to do work used to increase by a factor of 10X. She was a darling of the workforce during Friday afternoons. Everyone used to wait for Fridays to so that Lucy could complete their quota of work. Until the conference calls had put a spoke in the wheels.

Smith Twiddlethumbs was recently transferred to the Essex branch of “Paper work outsourcers”. “Paper work outsourcers” was into, paper work. They used to do the paper work for other companies. So all the paper that was generated for other companies, used to come to paper work outsourcers, who would then generate more paper to keep track of the original companies paper work. Also thanks to the Government order which said that paper work for all companies had to be kept for at least 7 years as per the legal requirement they were well into business and earning a tidy sum of profits. Essex branch that Lucy belonged to was not doing too well. So the main branch had sent Smith to find out what could be done to improve the situation. Smith was given 15 days to work things out and come up with a strategy to improve and turn things around.

The first thing that Smith did on his 5th day was to introduce a conference call with HO on Fridays and that had got Lucy’s goat. No she didn’t have a beard, its just a metaphor or should I call it figuratively speaking.

So who am I?

Right I need to introduce myself too as my business was going downhill fast. You see I was the pub owner and I was losing business rapidly due to the conference call.

I saw the writing on the wall. It said “those hath not knowing the pleasure will come under pressure”. Well this was on the wall from the time I had brought the pub so I didn’t think of erasing it out.

Well 14 days flew in a blur and the productivity had gone further south, Simth was at the end of his tether. He was now sure that he would soon be on the road. He had tried everything under the sun. he had tried sun tan, sun block etc everything but he still had got sun brunt.

Ooops (slip of typing) no he had tried threatening his people, more threatening, cajoling, pleading, begging, some more begging, bribing but he hadn’t been able to improve his productivity. So he did the thing that all good men do when they are in trouble.

No he didn’t call his mom.

He went to the pub. Yes he came to my pub. He sat down in a corner and ordered a small glass of Bacardi. He quickly gulped it down and looked into my eyes and ordered a tiny bit of Gin and Tonic. There was a hush throughout the Pub. Everyone was looking with rounded eyes towards me and Smith. Nobody could believe it. Here was a guy who was mirroring Lucy in her drinking style.

It is said that there are at least 2 people who are mirror images of each other in their drinking habits and the chances of this happening are 1 in 10 billion. Yes I know that there can be 10 billion people, but I am not too good with statistics anyway. And don’t ask me where it’s said. This is something like “the old jungle saying” only this is more like “the old pub saying”.

Then it happened. Smith downed his drink faster than I could say “abraca dabra” and asked for a “pint of beer”.

This time there was pandemonium in the pub. Nobody could believe it.

Everyone was going bonkers. Soon many had flashed out their PDA’s and Laptops and were going crazy betting on Ladbrokes. The odds being given were million to one that the next drink would not be scotch.

There was a deafening silence when Smith had downed his drink and was opening his mouth to place his next order. I have seen many sports matches and penalty shoot outs to know the kind of pressure that people are put under. No I am not talking of the people taking the penalties. That is not pressure. I am talking of the pressure on the 45 year old father of 2 who has bet all his life’s savings on Beckham getting it on target. That is pressure.

Many a folks have succumbed to that kind of pressure. Ok coming back to my little pub, as I was saying, the pressure was huge and everything happened in slow motion. Smith was opening his mouth and the word were coming out and he said “one Scotch please”

If earlier I mentioned pandemonium now it was CHAOS. Utter and complete chaos. People were now placing live bets. One of waiters was already collecting money from people who were betting that the next drink that Smith would order would be Jack Daniels. Huge amounts were being placed. Vast majority was convinced that this was the moment. This was a miracle. Who would have believed that this could be possible?

The amount placed was close to a million. And this was money within the Pub itself. Men were calling their wives and mistresses and asking if they wanted to place bets. Fathers were calling children on their cells and asking if they wanted to place bets using their pocket money. It was awesome. Even I placed 10 p on Smith not ordering Jack Daniels. You see I am not a believer in Coincidence. I am more of a practical person.

Ok Ok, I know the suspense is getting unbearable and you would be keen on knowing what happens next.

What happened next is out of this world. Smith downed his scotch and asked for a “Chivas Regal”.

Boom .. huge savings were wiped out and the GDP of countries wiped out.

Smith became a billionaire that day. He was an honest chap, he shared his bounty with me 50:50 as we had agreed.

Time machine :-)

2005-06-06T13:46:00.000Z

John slept fitfully. He kept getting up in the middle of the damn night and couldnt go back to sleep.

"How to correct the acceloremeter from colliding with the anti-matter??"

Everything had been developed and it was working fantastically. The stambulometer was compressing at 32x and digitizing the substance. The storage was sufficient. The amblemeter was tracking the conversion. But when the output happened there was a problem.

You see John was working at CERN (Switzerland) on the time machine. He had read "Timeline" 42 times and had also watched "Back to future" more than 36 times when he was a kid. HE knew all about Time travel and he was sure that he would be the first to reach there. He had also got the machine working but the damn thing was getting mixed up. You see when the transfer button on the machine was pressed the tranfer would happen but in a mixed up way.

Like the day he transported Millie (His persian cat). When he trasported her in his machine and got her back, she had the face of a cat but the body of ........ God almighty a "Bull"

So you see you can now understand his predicament. What the hell was he supposed to do? He was running out of ideas and also Cat food. What with Millie eating tons and tons of food now. He couldnt sleep. He was a recluse and never went out of his lab except to re-rent the DVD's on Back to future. Well you the enlightened reader will now ask why is a brilliant scientist still renting DVD's when he could have as well brought the DVD. hmm it's a valid question. You see John had fallen in love with Susan. She worked at the DVD store and John used his time there to discuss his problems with her. Actually Susan was a Psychiatrist who was working in the DVD store as there were not many pshychiatry cases in Switzerland. Its more because of the fact that the Swiss people dont fight anywars and thus dont get into any emotional issues etc. Anyway thats beside the point.

You will be interested in knowing where we are going. So moving on to the main point. Susan was stone deaf. No this had nothing to do with her not having any patients. She still could lip read very well. She was fascinated with John. She decided to help John. So she asked him to run her through how he had designed the machine and how it worked.

John brought her to his lab. He began to explain her on all that I explained you my enlightened reader the facts of the 3rd paragraph above. Susan was smart. She understood at once that this was because of the multi universe interferring with the transmission of the matter and the anti-matter getting in the way of the smart matter. So she suggested to John that instead of only one person going into the machine to be transported he had to send at least 2 people every time.
John was willing to try anything now. So my dear reader what happens next is that John snaps in both Susan and Millie+Bully (I am not sure what a half Bull is called) into the machine and presses the Button.

Zap....Zip.. klang boom ...Blip

Susan and Millie had disappeared. Now after 33 seconds and 45 nano seconds they would arrive back after travelling back to 1941.

31..30.29..28..27.. (You can countdown the rest by yourself. Let me catch my breath now)

Zap.. zip..klang ..BOOM..

Millie was back complete as her old self .. Yes I know my kind reader. You are asking the same question which John was asking to himself "Where is Susan?"

Well my good reader your guess is as good as mine. A field of Bulls hmmm...
:-)

May you live in interesting times !!

2005-06-02T14:21:00.000Z

I remember reading somewhere that "May you live in interesting times" is an old chinese curse. I wonder whats the curse in these lines. Life is more fun when things are interesting. When you feel alive with ideas and options. when you feel like you are creating things.

Practised some meditation yesterday. Its been quite some time that the focus and awarness was drawn inwards. Usually we go through life like a cork on the sea. Bobbing about till someone up there (you know the rest) decides to pull the plug and drain the water out of the sea :-)

Meditation felt good. Just tried concentrating on my breathing and some simple mantra meditation. I had learnt TM a long time ago but never practiced continuously. Its funnny you know we learn something new. Feel great about it, use it for some time and then get back to our normal selves and forget everything we have learnt. Its a typical cycle, at least for me. Once upon a time I was very much interested in meditation and stuff , but lately all the learning is left by the wayside :-)

Had a fantastic run yesterday. Tried to get a higher pace during the second part of the run and could feel the tiredness at the end. Ran around 4 miles yesterday. Today should be a bit longer.

Well thats it for my blog for the day.

"May you live in interesting times" :-)

Cell Phones and Crazy Frog

2005-05-31T16:21:00.000Z

Who the hell invented Cell Phones? I asked myself this question. It was just a whim to find out who it was and the search took me to google (as usual).

Its was very interesting to know that it was a Mr Martin Cooper from Motorola who made the first call in April 1973. That was a long long time ago. Now the same invention has changed our world and turned it totally crazy. We consider it as a completely integrated part of our life now and its considered very natural for someone now to be climbing on top of a small hill to just catch a signal and communicate :-)

We grew up without cell phones but now cant do without it at all. Like any other invention we curse it heavily when we are called to fix problems in the early hours of morning or late in the night. In the same breath we also exult in joy on receiving a call from someone we love.

So whats next now. We have integrated cell phones with Bluetooth, Infrared, GPRS and what not. We have cell phones which can be used as a camera and cell phones which come with built in PDA's. Sometimes the line between a cell phone and all these additional devices seems very thin.

I remember the time when Pagers were the norm. It used to be considered very fashionable to carry a pager. Ah the joy when the Pager used to buzz. Actually pagers are fun. At least they are non-intrusive. They dont make you stop everything and pick it up and start screaming into it and discussing about how obnoxious your boss is.

Wonder where all this is taking us. Its does seem very exciting to look at all the changes that have happened in the last 2 decades in technology. The surprise of the day was when I heard that the ring tone "crazy frog" had topped the UK charts. I have stopped getting surprised now!!

Do you know what I would love to see - an invention within the cell phone which can make another obnoxious cell phone user just disappear by pressing of a button

Right now I will make my Boss disappear by playing Crazy Frog on my cell.

Ode to Wordsworth

2005-05-31T09:45:00.000Z

"Now I know why Wordsworth wrote so prolificly" - I said to my wife.
"He was forced you know. This place is fantastic. Simply mindblowing. And If someone stay's here for a year, or a month or even a day and doesnt write a poem, I will call it a shame". I added.

We were in Lake District at Grasmere. We were on enjoying our Bank Holiday at Lake district. The journey was exciting when we left Reading, took the M4, then the A34 then M40, M42 and finally M6 to reach Lake District. Thanks to the AA route planner.

We were staying at the YHA at Langdale. The Hostel itself was fantastic. It was situated right on top of a Hill and the views was lovely. The advantage of staying at YHA are multi-fold. One you get to cook your own food. for us Indians food seems to be somewhere on Top in terms of priority. Everything revolves around food, food and more food. We could cook nice hot breakfast and also pack our food for the walks. The second advantage is that you get to meet interesting people and families. The third advantage is that you get to read books and play games. All in all its quite a package for a good price. If after reading all this you are still not members of YHA then I need to get myself lessons in the art of selling ice to eskimos :-)

Our days were filled with walk around the beautiful hills, valleys, ridges and lakes. There are lakes and more lakes in lake district. The place does live upto its name "Lake District".

We also found some time to do some wall climbing. Initially learning to tie the rope with the knot in the hape of an '8' was confusing to say the least. It was totally confusing. I was ready to leave wall climbing as it looked like I would need an IQ higher than 130 to learn to tie the knot. Finally we did manage, though its not more than 24 hours and I have already forgotten how I did it. But other than the knotting bit I did enjoy the climbs. I had done a bit of wall climbing some few years ago but didnt have many fond memories of it during that time. This time we did it in a series of steps by tackling the less difficult walls first and then increaing in confidence as we went to the tougher ones. Overall it was quite a nice experience. Felt like Tom Cruise from MI II while doing a few climbs :-)

So during the course of the holiday I had been able to utilise my Timberland shoes to the utmost . I remember while buying the shoes it had felt like "wow 100 pounds". But now looking back it does feel like it was worth it. the shoes are water proof, so it does give you that added advantage.

After the walking and climbing it was time for my biceps to get into the action. Nope you guys you are getting it wrong. I am talking of rowing here. We also did some superb rowing on the windermere lake at Ambleside. It was "Tiring". One hour of rowing for a guy who last did rowing when he was a kid is torture. My wife enjoyed the rowing as she was sitting at the other end going "ooh wow look ther and oooh wah look there the birds etc". At then end of the rowing my arms were gone and so was my neck with all the turning here and there to catch the sights :-)

Overall it was a fantastic holiday. I was tired but in a nice sort of way. I know it will take another 2-3 days to recover completely, but "Lake District rocks !! "

:-)

Mumbai Airport Vision 2020

2005-05-27T13:16:00.000Z

Year: 2006
Date: 27th May

Indian civial Aviation minister Praful Patel read the article on Rediff and snapped "We need to build the biggest Airport to match up to KLIA and other "

"yes Sir" replied Chandra Bhushan the senior bueracrat assigned to the Airlines ministry.

" We have already submitted the proposal for a new Airport at New Mumbai to be made ready by the year 2020"

"Excellent. We will show these Eurpoeans that we can build the best Airports too" thundered Praful, spitting sideways into the wastepaper basket.

Chandra quickly sidestepped as the spittle landed just beside him. He had become adept at so many things since passing his IAS exams. He had now started teaching Tai'chi at the nearby park. The movements of Tai'chi so much reflected what he did daily in his job. The hand movements of swaying is how he passed one file from one desk to another without actually getting anything done. Even passing files took so much effort. thanks to Tai'chi he could relax and acheive so many passing of files. His output had increased tremendously.

"so where is the vision 2020 file now?" - Praful

Chandra quickly came back out from his reveire. Last he rememberd the file had moved from the national government to the local government for approval or had it been sent to the Environment ministry for the Environmental approval, God knows with these files, they never tend to stay in once place except when there is some 'chai pani' involved.

"Sir the file is now sent to the Prime ministers office to check if the file would need approval from the ministry of finance before it needs approval from the ministry of foreign affairs or would it need approval from the ministry of trade before it can be approved by the Ministry of defence" fibbed Chandra with great smoothness.

"hmm that means Ayyappankutty would be sitting on the file and waiting till things hot up to take credit for the whole thing. It would also mean that the file would now be approved sometime in 2010 and the construction can never happen by 2020." thought Praful.

"Also sir we have a problem with the Land as we cannot get the land from the state government to build the Airport there" quipped Chandra.

"what?? this is absurd. I have to do something about this, where is the Land available then?" asked Praful.

"150 kms from Mumbai Sir. In fact Sir its very close to Pune sir." replied Chandra

"Ok then lets buy the land. But take care that this doesnt leak out to the press, else I will lose my seat during the next election"

Year: 2008
Date: 25th May
Headlines:"Praful Patel Loses Deposit, Smiriti Irani sworn in as Civil Aviation Minister"

Smirti:"Chandraji what is this? How can the new Airport be 150kms away? Which stupid person decided this? This is absurd. This must be the doing of Mandira right?"

Chandra: "Mandira!! .. Yes Madam Praful Patel's girl friend had a Flat in Pune and she got the files changed to have this done"

Smiriti:"Hmm anyway .. Hooni ko koi bhi nahin taal sakta hain (Meaning shit happens). So do we have the necessary funds to have the Airport completed by the year 2020?"

Chandra:"No madam we only have the necessary funding for 50% the remaining 50% is still to be obtained. But that remaining 50% could be a problem because the GDP growth shows that we can continue till the year 2018 after which everything depends on the price of onions"

Smiriti (with a knowing look on her face as if she was dealing with GDP throughout her Life): "Hmm the GDP is very important. Anyway as long as the rating for Kyunki is above that of Kusum, I will be happy. Ok so do we have any options to raise the money"

Chandra:"Madam we can sell the rights for the huge hoarding to companies to raise the money"

Smiriti: "Ok lets do that then. I need to go and find Mandira in Australia soon else Mihir will be lost"

Year:2020
Date: June 21st
Headlines: “New Airport at Mumbai inaugurated by Priety Zinta thorugh great Fanfare”

Date: June 21st
Breaking News:” Airbus A380 crashes into Giant Hoarding at Mumbai”

(This is an entirely fictitious output. This article and characters bear no resemblence to any person living or otherwise (cant write Dead (Oh no I wrote Dead)). )

How to be a writer in 9 days

2005-05-27T11:26:00.000Z

How to be a writer in 9 days

Day 1
Dream. All writers are dreamers. They dream because they sleep. Actually sleep is also not essential if you can dream with your eyes open.

Day 2
Write the dream. For this its important to sleep with a piece of paper and pencil just beside your bedside. Its also important to be able to learn to write with the lights off. If writing with lights off is difficle (I am learning French), then you need to be able to learn to switch on the lights write down your dream and then switch off the lights again so that you can catch the ending. Else it will be very strange for people to read your story and find that there is no ending. Hmm but even that can be a nice story. The story with no ending. See I told you you would get ideas.

Day3
Now you are slowly getting into the groove. So its important to rest yourself fully. This time you need to sleep without dreaming else your dream cells will get very stressed. Hence its important to set your alarm to wake up at 1:00am in the morning so that you dont get any dreams and can have nice restful sleep. Also writing will be difficile (I told you I am learning French) if you are sleeping through the day

Day 4
After resting your dream cells its important to rest you arms and legs. So fill up your glass with Stella or Carlsberg and rest your arms. The byproduct of this exercise is that your dream cells get activated. If you get some dreams at this point in time its very important that you dont think much about these. Also remember you have a glass in your hand so you cannot write. You can try with your legs though. I cant assure you that the output would be readable but you can try. Also this exercise will give you more control over your dreams, which will help your writing carreer. ce'st trop important (If you dont know French, its not my problemo).

Day 5
Repeat Day 1

Day 6
Complete rest day. During this day its very important to include your full senses into the writing exercises. So its important to attend a nice party. The party should have loud music, scantily dressed girls and lots of beer.

Day 7
Rest day. After the strenous exercise of Day 6, its important to rest all your senses. The exertion would have helped simulate them and you will have lots of ideas coming into your head. ITs important to just take an asprin and practice exercises of day 1 here.

Day 8
Write a few pages and then burn them in disgust. While burning the pages accidentely set fire to your curtains and then finally your home

Day 9
Aha you are now ready to write. You can now write about the sad episode of fires and how to prevent them. You can write about alcoholics anonymous and how to overcome the drinking habit. Wow your head is bursting with ideas. At last life seems like worth living.

You finally write to your Mom and ask if you can come stay with her for a few days as you house is burnt down.

:-)

uefa champions final - Oh God what a match :-)

2005-05-26T10:19:00.000Z

Hi,

I watched the uefa champions match last evening on Telly. What a roller coaster. what a fantastic match. I was guled to my seat the whole time. Except for the loo breaks and a small break after extra time to bake a cake.

The match was one of the most exciting ones I have ever seen. I am now becoming a Big Big fan of Steven Gerrad. He played like a Lion. He has a huge heart and it shows. The way he played it was amazing. The fans were amazing too. Imagine mortgaging your home to buy tickets and go and watch a match. I though Indian fans were fanatic but these guys are over the top.

The first half was completely one sided and after the 1st minutes goal (the fastest in uefa history) by Paulo Maldini things went totally downhill for Liverpool. I never thought they would be able to dig thmselves out of the hole that they had got themselves into. By half time the score read 3-0 with AC Milan leading.

I wasnt supporting any team in particular but a small part of me wanted Liverpool to win. It was like watching the Rugby final between Australia and England. Even during that match I was on England side and watched totally hyptonised the final drop kick by Johnny Wilkinson. What a match that was.

The second half was a totally different story. Withing 6 minutes we had 3 goals by Liverpool and the match had turned on its heads. This was again thanks to Gerrad as he hit the first one and helped get the second one when he was brought down in the penalty box. When Alonso took the spot kick and Dida blocked it, I was like "oh no ", but surprisingly he hit it in on the rebound and the score was tied 3-3.

Then it wa s tired two teams slugging it out until full time and also playing through the motions into extra time. There were 2 very near opportunities for AC which were surprisingly blocked by Dudek.

Benitez tactis were certainly questionable with his selction of Kewl. Also the first half the whole game plan seemd to be to get in long balls to Milan Barros, who didnt look very effective with Staam blocking him completely. While Ac was playing an excellent passing game in the first half.

Then came the penalty shootout. Its always a nerve wracking time to watch penalty shootouts as you can never predict the outcome and sometimes its not justice done.

This time though the penalty shootout was fun. AC missed the first one, while Liverpool slotted in theirs. Then AC missed another while Liverpool converted theirs again. Finally Liverpool won 3-2 on the shoot out. It was fantastic to watch the celebrations too.

I am not sure which match I would rate higher in the excitement scale between the Rugby final and the uefa final. I enjoyed both tremendously and would hate to choose one :-)

Also baked an excellent cake yesterday.

The run today morning was excellent. Did 2.5 miles but with some pace as well. The "new Balance 854" certainly seems like a nice shoe with good cushoining and motion control. I also found it to be quite light on the feet. Since I am planning on doing my marathon in October, I may be going in for a new pair sometime in September now.

Ciao :-)

2005-05-25T16:31:00.000Z

The start Line

Posted by Hello

2005-05-25T16:29:00.000Z

Race for Life

Posted by Hello

Run in the Park

2005-05-25T16:12:00.000Z

We had a Race for Life event recently for women only. My wife had participated in the Run (it was 5k) and I had the first opportunity to use my new DSC V3 camera with a 512 MB card. The weather was lovely and all the snaps I clicked were simply superb. At the moment I have no regrets of having brought this camera :-)

I also tried a few snaps in the TIFF format and was quite pleased with the results. At the moment I have still not read a lot in terms of the different features and am still using only the basic auto shots.

Just waiting to go to Lake district soon and click away to my hearts content.

:-)

Humor how do they do it?

2005-05-25T11:11:00.000Z

There are some very good posts on humor writing by Bob Schwartz here. I had also read a book called Looniness of a long distance runnner and was amazed by the writing. How do they do it? Where do these guys get their ideas from. I never ceases to amaze me. I love reading articles on light humor and dreaming that one day, surely one day I would be writing stuff like that.

Waking up ...Groan :-( )

2005-05-25T09:39:00.000Z

What is it with waking up early in the morning?

Earlier I was a early bird. I used to wake up by 4:30am and go for a nice run. Later as time went by and injuries accumlated due to my enthusiasm, I began waking up later and later, till now I wake up at 7:00am to 7:30am. Groan.

Its bad. I know its bad. I want to wake up earlier. I notice that when I need to go somewhere or catch a train, I can wake up quite early. But if there is no external pressure, then waking up becomes a chore. If I dont wake up by 6:00am then I notice that the sleep becomes more heavy. I just cant get myself to leave my warm bed.

My wife is also affected by the same problem. Though her case is worse than mine. She can snooze away till quite late into the morning. Usually what we both notice and agree is that its very good to wake early. You can manage to get a lot of things done in the morning. I can also have nice runs in the morning and then carry the endorphins from the run throughout the day. So there are incentives but we have not manaed to create the habit.

Creating the habit is the difficult part. I am searching for ideas to make myself get up early in the morning and do it consistently. I feel everyone has a time to wake up which is best suited for them. If they dont wake up by that time then the sleep usually gets very heavy and its very difficult to wake up after that time.

So I now need to find my ideal time to wake up. Next I plan on buying half a dozen clocks. I will set each of them with a 2 minutes gap, so that by 5:30am in the morning I have these clocks going off with a gap of 2 minutes and forcing me to get my lazy bum off the bed.

Maybe my neighbours wont be too pleased with this idea of mine, but I am running out of good ideas now.

Signed a pact with my wife today that we would both wake up early by around 5:30am. How we mange to keep up the pact is going to be very interesting to see.

I had a fantastic run today of around 4.7 miles. Did it in around 35 minutes, with a small gap of around 5 minutes of streching in between. I used my new "new balance 854" today. The shoes felt good and light. Overall it was a very good run and am feeling fantastic today.

:-)

Switch off the Telly - Time to Think

2005-05-23T10:24:00.000Z

And I switched off the TV, and switched on some nice soft classical music. The result was instantaneous. Immediately I felt a calm come over me as my mind seemed to clear. I could feel a kind of peace, which I seldom experience.

What is it with TV and me? We share a love hate relationship. There are times when I just need to switch it on and blank out everything else. Times, when I don’t feel like doing anything other than watching TV.

I remember when I had moved into a house in Bangalore. Initially the 1st 6 months of our stay there we didn’t have a TV. I don’t remember how we spent then evenings then. Did we talk? Yes I think we did. We also slept early and as a result got up early. I did miss TV but only so slightly. It was a conscious decision that we took to not have TV and I don’t regret it at all.

I do feel that you get addicted to TV and like any other addiction it’s never easy to get away from it. There is always something to see on the Telly. I remember reading somewhere that there was a day dedicated to not watching TV. Maybe instead of a day it should be made into a month. I think its time for me to control what I am watching. I think its time for me to stop being a zombie and start living again.

There are lots of things for me to do in Life. Some easy to do some difficult. Some interesting and some boring. Some I love to do and some I hate. But I have to start doing things and not allowing things to just happen. Maybe controlling my TV intake is one of the small simple steps that I can do.

I shall henceforth limit my Telly watching to around 8 hours a week to being with. That gives me approximately an hour a day. Any more than that and I am breaking a commitment to myself. Any less than that and I can reward myself. Yes this does sound good.

Yes this sounds good and I am going to get this done !!!!

I ran a good long run on Sunday. Ran for almost 50 – 55 minutes. The distance must be around 6 miles. Also went and brought myself a new pair of shoe. It’s a new Balance shoe with proper heel support. I went to sweatshop to buy it and also found out that I am a normal pronater. My old shoe has crossed its mileage limit and I need to dispose off it now. Maybe I will use it more for social occasions now.

Its time now to build up a proper schedule to run a marathon sometime in October. Also time to start planning out some Half-marathons and 10k runs in between.

Well that’s it for today :-)

Education to Application

2005-05-20T14:17:00.000Z

Read a very interesting post just now on Software Engineering. Sets your mind thinking. It got mine to thinking about my education. This was the second time in a span of few days that I am thinking about Education. During our school days we did a lot of stuff on physics and chemistry and Biology etc. Right now only a smattering of what we studied still remains with me. Newtons rules , a Few formulas on mass, accelaration and velocity etc. And some more stuff on photosynthesis etc.

Where is the rest gone? We studied for 15 years. We read and read and stored some stuff for exams and then regurgiated (hope the spelling is right) it out on the exam papers and scored marks.

Maybe the material that we study is ok, but the way we were taught is wrong. I personally believe that if the larger picture is not clear then the subject matter is never cleared. Education needs to be well rounded and slotted into the what and whys?

Will things change? Do I feel strongly for changing things? I dont know. Not at this moment in time I dont? But I would want for things differently for my children. Western society and Education is leaps and bounds ahead of what we do in the East. How can I say this? Its the way parents behave with children in western countries. They talk to them in a mature fashion and also listen to what the children say.

In the East kids are treated like Kids. They are talked to like kids. they are also taught like Kids. Originality is not encouraged much. While in the west, it possible for a student to be able to stand up and disagree with his teacher. Is this somewhere linked to the Esteem thingy again?

Maybe, maybe not? Things are changing now, I feel in the Education field in the west too. With the shrinking of the world due to TV and Internet revolution we may soon see that the whole world order changes soon with the East striding ahead of the west :-)

Its the method of Teching, which I feel needs to change. Earlier when we studied we were taught through lectures and then we went in straight to the exams. The change I feel is through having education linked to writing papers on individual thoughts, coming up with original ideas on the whats, whos, and the whys. With grading being on what original thoughts that you come up with. This is how Education happens in the West right now. Thats the reason people of the west dont hesitate to voice their opinion and ideas.

Ok thats enough ranting for now...

God of Small Things

2005-05-20T13:33:00.000Z

Some things are really funny. I am using the word funny in a different sense here. I had ordered a Digital Camera along with 512 MB card over the interent. The site was 7day shopping or something like that. Since my friend also wanted the same digital camera and he didnt have a Credit card, I decided to order it for him too. So I got on the site and clicked on the camer, added it into the Shipping cart. Also clicked on 512 MB CF cards and added them too into the shopping cart.

Now today the cameras came in and I was like "yeaaa Internet this is cool ".. but there was no 512 MB cards. they were being shipped later. Isnt this funny. I mean what use is the Camera to me without the Card. Why cant someone operating the website look into the small detail like this and have it ready too.

There are many small things like this which sometime get to you. They just get the whole experience down for you and make you feel really really funny. Now my friend is going back to India today and he has the camera with him but no Memory card to click the photos into.

Wish the card comes soon so I can go framing things and clicking away to glory.

Sometimes Small is big :-)

Newness of things

2005-05-20T09:29:00.000Z

Hi,

I wanted a change. I always want change. What is it about change. But when the change comes I dread it. I wonder if I will be able to cope with it. Like now in my job, I asked for a change and got it, but then I got thinking if this is what I want. But when the old job was on, I wanted a change desperately. Why does this happen?

What can I learn from this?

Time to reflect.. now that I have lots of time I dont know what to do with it. One of the most frustrating thing is not having a job or having a job and not having any work. What gives us fullfillment? Are we always known by what we are or what we do? oooof So many questions :-)

Went for a nice run yesterday. Did almost 2.5 to 3 miles of run and walk. While I was doing the run there was a runnning club also who were doing their weekly run. there was an old man who was running in the lead. He seemed to be doing quite a good time. He lloked to be almost 45+ and still there he was runnning like a Gazzelle. Put me to shame there :-)

Though right now I am more interested in running to increase my endurance and not my speed. I am sure speed will come in later. There will be time for that.

Also saw junior mastermind on TV. The kids are simply fantastic. What I like most about watching the kids answer questions is the independant line of thought. I think education the way we learnt and what is being taught nowadays in the west is years apart. We were taught more from the rote kind. Maybe now I would like to go back in time and learn in a different way. Maybe it would teach me to look at things differently.

Also went to the Library and brought some books. I love reading books. It connects me to myself in a way only known to me. I read a lot of fiction. Though now I feel that its time to read some non-fiction too. Biographies maybe. Read a book on Churchill and Hitler. The different kinds of leadership that they bring to the table. It was interesting to read about Churchill and what kind of person he was. It looks like WWII was a defining moment for Brits as they seem to have found an unique identity for themselves.

Well I think that should do for todays post. Thats the thing about me. If I start something new it goes on with full enthusiasm till I start to flag down. Hope I can keep this thing going. I kind of enjoy it now. :-)

Cheers and have a great day.

Everyone needs to start somewhere

2005-05-19T14:20:00.000Z

Hi

Everyone needs to start somewhere to reach somewhere else. I just read Rajesh Jains article on Rediff and then visited his Blog site. It was fun reading about his views on Entrepunership, generating options etc. It was quite inspiring and gives me a lot of hope. It does get you to reflect and think. Something which I have just stopped doing.

Its been quite some time that I have got an idea which I was inspired by. Its really been a while since I have spent some time just thinking and planning. Its a short life and all of us have very little time before someone up there decides he has had enough and pulls a small plug which is connected to a machine.

Thinking about where I wish to be seems like somthing very big for me now. I wonder if there is something small that I can think of and accomplish now. I have begun running since some time now, trying to get fit. But that is only a part of me which is getting exercised. My brain doesnt seem to be doing much and neither is my soul. I am feeling imporvished now. I am not feeding myself enough good things. Not from the food for the body part but more from the food for the soul part.

So maybe this blogging will be a good way to see my progress from someplace to someplace else. At leaset I feel like I am moving now and doing something instead of just sitting my bum down and feeling the pain.

Someone reading this blog may find that its completely unstructured as there seems to be everything here with no propoer start or finish. Maybe this actually reflects my current state of being. I am hoping that things will change and am sure that I must be the one who brings in the change. So to put some structure into this Blog , I am now thinking of structuring it in the following manner.

1. Add details of my runnning into the Blog
2. Add details of my current thoughts and ideas into this Blog.

Well this should do for now. At least feels better that there is something to write about.

Ordered a Sony DSC V3 yesterday on the web. Hope to also add in some snaps into the Blog in the future. So there will be some color in the Blog and it will reflect the color in Life too.

oops completely forgot. Did do a walk yesterday instead of a run of around 2.5 miles. Today should be a good run of 2.5 miles.

:-)